Please expand upon an aspect (s) of your academic or extra-curricular background that you feel is especially important to you and that will help us to get to know you as a person Max. 5000 characters
Studying in ______(my school)___ is for every student a deep challenge. The essence of the school is about helping everybody in any way you can. This, unlike in other schools, makes us feel like friends rather than as fellows. Students who are good at physics always try to help those who aren't as those who have special skills in Biology teach those who don't. Just as many choose to help those who do not know, I chose to help those who have no economic possibilities.
In my school, there is a trip to Israel at the end of 10th grade. Is what we have been expecting since we are small because our siblings and parents have gone also. This trip is 45 days long, which means lots of fun but also a big expense. Last year, I was finally in 10th grade, the year of the trip. After the first meeting to the trip, when I heard that of 130 students, nearly 40 could not afford it, I felt a great responsibility to help them. The next day I organized a meeting with my closest friends and we discussed about this concern. Raising enough money for that amount of people would be a tremendous job, but knowing me and my friends, I knew we had the potential to make it. We talked to the school principal and she gave us permission to do a bake sale that Friday at recess. At first we were a small group, , but when our other colleagues found out what we were doing, they wanted to help too. Thus arose the organization which I led, and still lead.
Trough the year, we Organized bake sales every Friday, lots of garage sales, a magic show, plays made by ourselves, makeup courses, raffles and even a party. Not only we raised enough money to cover the travel expenses, but We managed to work together for a good cause and found out that this could be very fun. Many people (nos felicito) for our great success raising the money, but for me, the great success was going to the trip with all the 130 students, regardless their economic possibilities.
What makes me happiest about the work I did, is when the students of 9th or 10th grade call me asking for help because they too have decided to raise money for their peers in economic needs. This shows that not only I met my goal of raising money, I also created awareness in the younger student of my school. Until now, we are still working every week raising money for the yearbook, graduation, or just as a donation to the school.
Is what we have been expecting since we are small because our siblings and parents have gone also. (I think this should be in the past tense)
The ending is a bit weak I think. And the narration kind of drowns your personality in the chain of events, and so what I can get from here is only a very blur outline of your personality.
This is a great topic, and you wrote it very well. More importantly, you deserve every opportunity, because you did something great to help others.
Here is a typo:
Trough the ...
Also, do not capitalize the o:
year, we Organized organized bake sales every Friday, lots of garage sales, a magic show, plays made by ourselves we wrote and performed, makeup courses, raffles and even a party. Not only w We not only raised enough money to cover the travel expenses, but also We managed to work together...
:-)
