Business Administrators - a vital cog in the system
Living a privileged life, I have constantly been reminded of the importance of it because of the hardships my father went through during his childhood. The loss of my grandfather, his father, brought his family to poverty. Thus, he joined a business company at the age of sixteen to support his family. His dedication and passion towards business has inspired me to become independent and pursue a career in business administration. Business is the only subject that caught my attention as it got me thinking about its pertinence outside school. Through the exposition to the world of business at an early age, I have learnt through my dad that business does not utterly mean money. It's more than that. It's all about trust, failure, success, management, challenge, and risk. As a world that is runned by business, business administrators are really vital for this industry. Imagine the business managers to be the pilot for an airplane. Without the pilot, the airplane would not be able to drive by itself. Likewise, a business administrator is the pilot for the business industry. The significance of a business administration is crucial for successful companies as managers as their actions can influence the organisation that runs in the business. A business manager can have a difficult career part as his or her role is to lead a team of employees and guide their work efforts towards efficient and profitable business solutions. In order to have succeed as a business administrator I have the ability to motivate and drive people to be efficient their work. I have excellent verbal skills that will help me communicate and convey my feedback towards my team. When I imagine myself being successful and independent, I see that through pursuing business administration. Hence, my passion is to become a businesswoman and be even more successful than my father.
The loss of my grandfather,
his father (It is rather clear), brought his (the entire) family to (the verge of)poverty. Thus , at an early age of sixteen , he joined ... Through the exposition to ... Due to exposure to the world of business at an early age , I've gained a deeper perspective towards the subject
Other parts of the essay are quite fine , but you could work on how this subject major would help you grow , not only your skill sets and , well atleast thats my thinking
Jaanvi, one of the major reasons that an applicant loses his slot as a potential student candidate is when he repeats information found in other areas of the essay requirements in another prompt response. The essay that you used for this motivational consideration discussion is exactly the same as the essay that you wrote for your personal statement. In addition to that, you are not really responding to the question. Rather, you are lecturing the reviewer again, about the functions and importance of a business manager, which has nothing to do at all with your motivation to study this course. These mistakes have led you to create an inappropriate and repetitive response to the prompt. If this essay is run through a plagiarism checker online, the essay to the British university that you will be submitting will most likely turn up. That will result in an automatic rejection of your application. Every essay that you submit to a university needs to be fresh in presentation if not in content. You can't just slap together various paragraphs from essay submitted to other universities then hope it works for this prompt. If you don't understand what the prompt is asking for and you do what you did in this essay , then you have already failed in the application process. Write a new essay. One that is clear about your motivation for applying for this program of study, that does not fall back on your previously written essay. That is the only way to can assure yourself of consideration for this university application.