"explore the world from a new perspective" - What makes Stanford a good place for you

This is what I have so far, so I could use some help proof/editing please
any commentary or feedback is helpful

Sitting atop my roof watching the sun set over Arizona, the shadows lengthen, the sky darkens, and stars appear in the night sky, I began contemplating my future. For a moment I felt entirely uncertain. I didn't know where my life would take me or the things I would be able to accomplish, or how I would achieve any of it. My scientific, analytical brain took over in order to find these answers. I began by merely stating what I was interested in, this is what I came up with. I am inexorably fascinated with the brain. The possibilities for neural research are endless and I truly believe the secrets of the universe are locked within the brain. I am going to apply biomedical engineering to the brain. In fifty years, looking back, I want to be able to say that I helped discover the secret for regenerating neural tissue ...

Awkward wording

This is too general. Elaborate more on why STANFORD is the place for you. Do research. This provides information about how you became interested in the brain but not so much stanford. By reading this, I didn't really feel that you were so attracted to going to Stanford. It seemed too generic.

I decided to just rewrite it...how's this?

The solutions to world issues cannot be solved from a single direction; they often require collaboration from several fields. I believe in a similar approach to my education. At Stanford I will have to freedom of interdisciplinary studies and can explore my interests in neuroscience along with my fascination of biomedical engineering, computer sciences, and philosophy. Taking a combination of versatile courses will help me develop a unique perspective of the brain and a new approach to neural research. The comprehensive classes, ingenious professors, and collaborative environment will assure me the interdisciplinary education I crave. The research opportunities for undergraduate students will allow me to apply my knowledge and explore new outcomes while working closely with other passionate students and teachers. I hope to contribute to the basis of human knowledge and understanding and push the bounds of modern science.

To say that I want Stanford is not enough, everyone want Stanford, so what makes me different from the other 30,000 applicants? It's not my deeply passionate nature or love of knowledge, or my curiosity, the answer lies within my drive. Stanford is my opportunity to contribute to the world. Watching those around me suffering from strokes and other neurological disorders has inspired me to find a solution. The brain is the basis of human life, yet it remains the most mysterious and misunderstood part of the body, and I am inexorably fascinated by it. I am driven by my quest for understanding.

I am consonant with the ideologies at the core of Stanford University and know that I will fully take advantage of the opportunities available to me. I expect to thrive in the challenging yet rewarding environment and contribute to the diversity of the university

Careful here.. solutions are not to be solved...

The solutions to world issues cannot be solved found by searching in only a single direction; they often require collaboration from several fields.

Taking a combination of versatile courses will help me develop a unique perspective ---It sounds like the theme of your essay is "pluralism."That is a good word to check out as you work on this.

Typo: everyone want Stanford

Run on sentence: It's not my deeply passionate nature or love of knowledge, or my curiosity, the answer lies within my drive. Stanford is my opportunity to contribute to the world. ---This stuff is abstract and a little to simple. "Drive" is too simple if you are TELLING them you have it. Show them that you have drive by giving a DETAILED plan about what you are going to do in the next few years. Driven people have plans.

Watching those around me suffering from strokes and other neurological disorders has inspired me to find a solution. ----This is good... a specific intention. I wish you would write a whole paragraph about this aspiration.

:-)