Finished completely revising it! 497 words! I love harsh criticism so feel free to completely rip this apart! I'm gonna sleep now (at 8AM cool) but I will critique back (:
Thanks in advance for reading!
EXOTIC FOOD IN COUNTRIES
"Uh, are you sure this is edible?" A plate filled with hundreds of black shells covered with a gooey green sauce has been placed in front of us, the faint aroma of the sea suspiciously seeping into the air. My parents seemed delighted with this foreign delicacy but I was not amused. After waiting for thirty minutes with my stomach growling, I was supposed to eat this? Disappointed, I scowled and crossed my arms, silently screaming at my parents for ruining my appetite.
I guess you could say I wasn't the most adventurous person when it comes to eating. Lobsters and sushi? Those I can devour in a flash. But snails, frogs and turtles? I'm pretty sure no one would dare touch those. Then again, not everyone's parents are willing to try anything that was considered edible. Understanding that I couldn't possibly starve myself whenever my family went out to eat, I decided to learn about how these dishes came to be.
I sat in front of my computer that night, prepared to do some research. With the clickety-clacking sounds ringing out from the keyboard as I typed in "strange delicacies", I realized that I was... excited to learn about how these dishes were created. I searched through thousands of links, pouring over the origins of dried squid and why ants are considered a delicacy in South America. My curiosity got the best of me and I stayed up all night, not only reading about each country's delicacies, but also its entire culture. The food people ate around the world only gives a small taste of what each country represents; I soon found myself enthralled with the traditions of Swaziland and the national anthem of Liechtenstein.
It was an inspiring night as I explored the countless cultures that I previously knew little about. Hailing from a small town in xxxxxxxx, I felt as if I was traveling the world, encountering people who all had their own story to share. I understood that behind the countless faces and religious ideologies, each of us have something special to offer, something unique to give to one another. While we may have our share of similarities and differences, it was the aggregate of the intimate pride and happiness, fear and anger, love and remorse in all of us that made our own cultures one of a kind.
I probably won't enjoy every exotic cuisine that is placed on the table, but each one allows me to gain a glimpse of a country's culture, a chance to become inspired by its history and traditions. Just like each country's unique flag, the variety of foods represents the idiosyncratic customs of its people. It whispers the story of their past -- the times of joy and triumph, wars and famine. Perhaps the next time my family goes out to eat, I'll take a bite out of a rich society of which I've never tasted before. Who knows, maybe I'll find one that I love.
This is a great essay. I like the tone very much. These are just small details but overall its a very good essay.
Those I can devour in a flash; But snails, frogs and turtles?
My curiosity got the best of me as I stayed up all night
I really like your essay. The first paragraph drew my attention, I wanted to know more. I especially like how you chose the essay by mentioning that next time your family goes out to eat you'll "take a bite out of a rich society". The only thing I would suggest changing is "a small town in xxxxxxx." It was unclear to me as to whether "xxxxx" was because you didn't know the name of the country or you meant that you could be referring to any foreign country.
I hope you can take the time to read my essay. The link is below.
Understanding that I couldn't possibly starve myself whenever my family went out to eat, I decided to learn about how these dishes came to be.
Sentence structure - a bit strange, maybe rearrange ?
Like your essay, it's unique !
Please critique my EC one!
I loved this essay. Coming from a small town myself I understand what you mean
Thank you guys so much!
Any more advice would also be welcomed! (:
This is awesome!
In my view, your essay is really perfect. I confess I can't write like this. Very descriptive. Since your work is well done, I don't see no more errors. Good Luck!
There were no glaring grammatical errors so i'm sure you don't have any :)
I can see 'you' and it definitely grabs the attention of the reader.
Thanks again everyone for the positive feedback!
If anyone has any last minute criticisms before I send this in, please feel free to comment! (:
This is a great essay. I could really only see one minor mistake.
quote=somewherefun]My parents seemed delighted with this foreign delicacy, but I was not amused. [/quote]