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"My exposure to music", title pending- UC admissions prompt #2


wangmaster1219 1 / -  
Nov 29, 2008   #1
Prompt #2

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are? *

Hello essayforum users! This is my essay to the above prompt. My mother read it and thought it was a bit too arrogant. I was afraid of this as I was writing it, but thought I had reached a balance between distinguishing myself and sounding like an arse. Any opinions/suggestions regarding that matter or any other will be greatly appreciated!

My essay:
My exposure to music began when I received my first violin at age seven. Taking on my parents' drive for excellence and perfection, my goal was to be the best. I practiced daily and took lessons weekly. I began joining youth orchestras outside of school and taking exams offered by the Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music. By the time I entered middle school, I was practicing roughly two hours everyday as well as attending weekly rehearsals with the Stephen Wise Youth Orchestra.

During the sixth grade my private teacher presented me with an amazing opportunity to join The Los Angeles Junior Philharmonic. Although the music the orchestra played was beyond my technical ability, the emotion I exuded in my audition impressed the conductor enough to grant me acceptance. I was seated in the back row of the second violins as the youngest member of the orchestra.

It was during my first rehearsal that I heard the true grandeur of a full symphony orchestra, and my passion for music came full-fledge. In my previous orchestras, I played as an individual, with my style barely changing from solo to orchestra play. In the Junior Philharmonic, however, the synergy between each instrument in a particular section created a musical conversation not between the individuals, but the entire orchestra. In essence, it was a "team" of musicians whose goal was to sound as one and achieve musical nirvana. If one player were to stand out, the whole team would be dragged down. This obligation to not let down my fellow musicians, coupled with my continuing drive for excellence and newfound goal to become a first violinist, invigorated me to practice harder and analyze thoroughly the relationship between each musical section.

By this time, however, I was already balancing school with a wealth of other extracurriculars- mainly basketball, swimming, and Boy Scouts- and had little to no extra time in my schedule to devote to music. Unwilling to drop any extracurricular over another, I began to take a different approach to my practices. The one philosophy my practices were centered on now was efficiency. I wasn't only trying to perfect my technique and interpretation of the music, but also how I reached this perfection. I began analyzing all aspects of my playing and identifying what I needed to work on, practicing in front of the mirror and recording myself as I played. Instead of practicing a song ten times, I would play it twice and devote the rest of the time to trouble spots in order to get more work done in the same amount of time. I became obsessive over the smallest details, for example whether I should release a note a tenth of a second earlier to give ample transition time and/or increase its clarity. These details didn't take long to perfect but would have an immediate impact to the quality of my music. I also began practicing outside of using a violin. More than once did my classmates ask if "everything was alright" as I was practicing my bow technique with a pencil. The result of my new practice philosophy was a testament to its effectiveness. The learning curve I was undergoing was similar to when I had first picked up a violin. By the time I was fourteen, roughly two years after I joined the orchestra, I had moved up to middle of the first violin section as its youngest member.

The value of music to me is more than of a casual pleasure. It is an emotional language that I can truly express myself with, a language where there is no set amount of words and each word can have limitless meanings, yet when put together in a sentence creates an image real words can't describe. In my ongoing endeavor to find myself through music, I have been shown firsthand the rewards of hard work, perseverance, and efficient planning, qualities that are now exemplified in all facets of my life. It has taught me not only how to identify problems, but to come up with effective and creative solutions. In an increasingly complex world where each problem presents a unique challenge, the ability to identify the underlying obstacles and find the most efficient solutions is invaluable. This talent, coupled with an almost compulsive desire to achieve perfection, defines who I am.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 30, 2008   #2
By the time I entered middle school, I was practicing approximately two hours every day, as well as attending weekly rehearsals with the Stephen Wise Youth Orchestra.

It is an emotional language that I can use to truly express myself, a language with no set amount of words but limitless meanings.

Nope, you do not sound arrogant at all. This is a perfect essay. They ask about accomplishments and what makes you proud, so this is exactly right. Thoughtful, and well-written, too.


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