Unanswered [30] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3


EXPRESS MYSELF/OPINIONS ; Benefit from education AUC ?


Lobna95 1 / -  
Mar 9, 2013   #1
Please tell me if it is a good essay or not... reply as soon as possible because I need it after tomorrow. Thank u all :)

Being an AUCian was always one of my dreams that I decided to realize one day so I am struggling a lot to be , I had to complete advanced level and advanced supplementary subjects to be accepted as an AUC undergraduate. And this will help me to get a good quality of education , study abroad , improve my personality , explore different societies and get a great job later.

First of all , I will benefit from the demanding curriculum chosen by the highly qualified professors as it is rich in critical thinking and practical experience and as they depend on research. I think that they depend also on our discussions together to explain the subjects and convince us by logic . Moreover , AUC will provide me with a wide variety of universities abroad where I can complete my studies .

A key factor beyond the quality of education is the campus life experience in the AUC which will help me to learn teamwork skills and to be sociable through working together on many projects. I will share experiences with others which will make me a broad-minded thinker. Furthermore , AUC will give us the chance to organize concerts and parties in order to be responsible persons , decision makers and leaders . As well as the chance to express myself , my opinions , my complaints and my demands with freedom through the students union which teaches me how to be self confident .

In addition to the social environment provided by the AUC that will help me to discover the world's religious , political and cultural traditions . It is where I will be able to socialize with around 113 nationalities with their different lifestyles , norms , values and attitudes.

Last but not least , AUC graduates are known for being capable of finding creative solutions to complicated problems , learning quickly and acquiring new skills . Thus , I can easily find a job with good position and good salary

Finally , I have to say that for me AUC is not just a university to attend but a community to live in and interact. I really want to be an AUCian.
harmonyrulez101 1 / 3 2  
Mar 9, 2013   #2
your essay looks fine though towards the end it almost seems as though you were getting your points from an AUC brochure. they already know what they do for students, they want to know what they can do for you. try personalizing a little more, and show them why you specifically want to be there as opposed to why anyone would.

As well as the chance to express myself , my opinions , my complaints and my demands with freedom through the students union which teaches me how to be self confident . that's confusing. there's a specific name for this kind of error, but I can't remember the name right now, and I'm trying to go fast to give you more time but basically when you have a list of ideas or concepts they need to all have the same format. see how express myself and my demand with freedom have different formats? when you put one preposition at the end of a list like that, the implication is that the preposition applies to the entire list. so while my complaints with freedom and express myself with freedom make literal sense, I doubt that is what you meant to say but it can easily be taken that way and I have no idea what you're trying to say so that's the only thing I can take it as. also, that is a run-on sentence.

other than that, you did an excellent job of letting them know that you did your homework about the program and that you know what you want. hope this helps, good luck!
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Mar 16, 2013   #3
Being an AUCian was always one of my dreams that I decided to realize one day so I am struggling a lot to be , I had to complete advanced level and advanced supplementary subjects to be accepted as an AUC undergraduate

I feel this is a bit too long. This is your opening line and it should come with a punch. When you write too lengthy sentences, the reader needs to keep memorizing every detail you say while reading. That disturbs his interest in your writing. Better shorten this line.

Being an AUCina had been a great dream in my life and I truly did strive hard having it realized. ... They know the details of what you had to achieve for being eligible for admission. So that part is implied and you don't have to elaborate on that.

I think you better improve the flow of this answer.... Once you say that it had been a dream, then tell them why it had been so.... Talk about its features one by one and tell them how those features are aligned with your future goals.


Home / Undergraduate / EXPRESS MYSELF/OPINIONS ; Benefit from education AUC ?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳