any and all advice is greatly appreciated! thank you!
1. People find many ways to express their inner world. Some write novels; others paint, perform, or debate; still others design elegant solutions to complex mathematical problems. How do you express your inner world, and how does the world around you respond?
Music is inherent in my soul, and this ardor for rhythm is what led me to take up Indian cultural dance, which focuses on capturing the spirit of music and translating this through movements and expressions. Indian dance focuses just as much on acting as it does on actual content, and I love that I am able to portray a different character with different emotions in each dance. Before I began dancing, I never thought that I could experience true happiness through my own actions, but I now understand that as long as I am dancing, I will be content, and I only hope to continually relay this joy to my audience. Ultimately, dance has taught me what passion truly is.
It has taken a lot for me to share my passion with the world, but I am thoroughly glad I have. In the sixth grade, I performed an Indian dance for our school talent show, but before doing so, I worried that my dance would be considered "weird" and that I would be labeled the same. At that time, Indian culture was not as popular in the media as it is today, so exposing children to something so foreign was a big risk. However, the risk completely paid off! My classmates loved the movements, expressions, and music and developed a greater appreciation and respect for me and my culture. This experience has inspired me to continue sharing my passion and to introduce others to a beautiful world outside of their own.
Hi,
My classmates loved the movements, expressions, and music and developed a greater ly appreciatedionmy performance and respectedfor me andour culture . This experience has inspired me to continue sharing my passion for Indian cultural dancing and I was able to introduce others to a beautiful worldnew form of art, for which they barely had any idea previously.outside of their own.
Hi! I don't like the beginning. The word inherent is usually used to refer to something that automatically comes with something else. For example, argument is inherent in the process of litigation. I sort of think it would be better just to do this:
Music is inherent in my soul, and this Ardor for rhythm is what led me to take up ...
but I now understand that as long as I am dancing, I will be content, and I only hope to continually relay this joy to my audience----- excellent!
The risk is very impressive... I think this is a good example to use for this essay. Other than the beginning, I would not want to change a thing.
:-)
