What do you all think?
Tell us about an external influence (a person, an event, etc.) that affected you and how it caused you to change direction.
I was slowly shedding two billion skin cells as my body sought to detoxify itself against harmful substances. In that moment I was no longer merely composed of melanocytes, keratinocytes, and langerhans cells. I began to feel the water, lactate, and urea running throughout me. They signaled a warm rush through my body. "I'm not super woman," I shouted back at him as I wiped the sweat from my forehead. "You can do it, Jade. Seriously," he persisted. My calloused hands firmly gripped the edge of the siege colored rocks. I sought out my own approval instead. My body was desperately seeking to cool itself as I stared off into the turquoise sky. I desperately wished that I was super woman in that moment. I wanted so very much to fly and soar above the clouds and escape what my reality had become. Here I was, thousands of feet above ground level, climbing one of the world's most famous Oligocene fossil beds; the Badlands National Park in South Dakota. I didn't think that I was going to make it. I had no plan for getting up or down for that matter, but Skyeler, my camp counselor sure did.
I practically came out of the womb with a ten year plan. Ever since I can remember I've set out to succeed, and planning for my future has always correlated naturally with this goal in mind. Lists have become a part of me. Scattered across my desk are various pastel colored post-its, scribbles, and scraps of paper written on. I have a to-do list posted to my locker, one stored on my cell phone, and one can often find me with a scribble or two drawn on my hand. To me, having a plan has always meant being in control. I have always associated safety and planning together, and this has consistently been in good reason. If one has a plan, how can they really go wrong? I soon learned that things can.
"Jade, you're going to have to listen to me right now. I'm serious. Put your right foot on that rock that's about two inches above you," Skyeler warned me. I did as told. "Okay, great. Now I'm going to need you to place your hand on that very same rock so you can boost yourself up." I made the fatal mistake of looking down upon the 244,000 acres of pinnacles, spires, and eroded buttes that were below me, and slipped. My nervous system was in full swing. I could feel my tear ducts carrying my tears into my nasal cavity. My nose was running simultaneously as the beams of water began to drip onto my sun stained cheeks. "This wasn't supposed to happen," I screamed at him. "You told me that if I put my hand in this spot, my foot in that spot, and if I had all of my equipment, that everything would be alright! Why did you lie to me? Things were supposed to work out! We had a plan!" And that was just it. I couldn't have foreseen this very moment. There was no Filofax, amount of post-its, or computer with a memory space large enough that could have predicted my situation.
I noticed that Skyeler had begun to laugh. "You're really something you know. No one comes to the Badlands with a Filofax, yet alone a plan." I let his words sink in and infiltrate my mind. I attempted to erase my mind of everything that I had previously come to associate with planning, and focused in on the future. I breathed heavily as I placed my hands and feet where I was supposed to, and before I knew it I was hoisted onto the same flat surface where Skyeler was sitting cross legged with a book in hand.
"I made it!" I exclaimed. I had done it. I had left all of my convoluted ideas behind me, for I was now at peace. I shook off the dirt from my hands, took a swig from my water bottle, put my backpack down, and gazed off into the rainbow colored sun that was beginning to set, eager about what the future had in store for me. "I think I just had an epiphany," I told Skyeler. "Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it." And just like that, I took my Filofax out of my faded brown backpack, took out the pages, and ripped them up. I no longer needed the future; the present was calling my name.
This is a very entertaining essay! You are very good at storytelling, and it makes a good read. I guess the way to improve it would be to add more reflection at the end. The story has a good moral: you cannot always expect things to go according to plan. So, how does this insight relate to your plan to go to this particular school? Give some more specific explanations in the reflection at the end! :)
