External validation - What is important to you? Why?

External validation

I realised I was an addict when I was in the 10th grade, an addict of external validation. I was caught in an endless cycle of seeking approval from others. My entire self-worth was based on other's perception of me and my accomplishments. I had the impression that there was an invisible chain around my neck, limiting my choices to those that others deemed appropriate. Amid the pandemic, however, I began to question if I had set the right goals for myself. And for the first time, I began to comprehend the importance of self validation and decided to fabricate my own path in life rather than conforming to societal norms. In the 11th grade, I used my start at a new school as a fresh beginning. Instead of studying medicine or engineering, as expected by others, I followed my conscious and started aligning my aptitude and interest by choosing psychology. I quit playing Inline Hockey after realizing I wasn't passionate about it and began playing Basketball, a sport I genuinely enjoyed. I began reading non-academic books in class during my free time, which I was mocked for at first because I was the only one doing so but soon after, few of my classmates approached me and expressed their interest in reading, which boosted my confidence. Within two months, I formed a book club of 15 students, and together, we organized a book donation drive (donating around 500 books to underprivileged children), as well as a fund-raising drive (selling books and using the donation funds to help

The response provided to the question is not aligned with the expected response. Since this is a college admission essay, the applicant should understand that the "important" aspect of this discussion pertains to a belief system, family or cultural tradition, among many things, that would relate to the development of the entirety of the person within the applicant. This is a theme that should be a foundation for something in the life of the applicant. The current response does not represent any of these requirements. Addiction turned on its head to create a positive spin would have worked if it somehow related to the previously mentioned discussion basis. As such, this essay does not work for this prompt but rather, would work better as an open themed topic presentation. Either change the response or change the prompt. One or the other will work best in this case.

@Holt
Thanks for the advice. I'll make the required changes accordingly.