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Extracurricular -"This field is a canvas. Let's paint something beautiful today"


KristenK 2 / 2  
Oct 27, 2012   #1
I am restrict to 1,000 characters, & this is exactly 1,000!
If people could offer their criticism and critiques rather than praise, it would be greatly appreciated!


Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

"As our team huddled at center turf prior to the whistle, Coach reminded us why we stood on that turf. "This field is a canvas. Let's paint something beautiful today." My brush dabbed the portrait in second grade as I joined my brother's soccer team, the sole girl. My hand shook as I strained to daub my first print, yet once I was named captain of the all-boys club my inner-artist blossomed; I haven't stopped painting my picture on the field since. Trap, settle, dribble, see who is open: It's all about problem-solving and quick-decision making. Soccer opened my eyes, not only to see the image of the entire field and all my options, but also to see the importance of trusting others as much as myself. I learned to defend, divide and conquer, while sporting an encouraging attitude throughout, despite the end result. Strength does not derive from shin pads, but from the driving force within them. This canvas expands beyond the grass-Soccer has guided me to illustrating the rest of my life."

Thank you for your time:)
StevenSabu 1 / 3  
Oct 28, 2012   #2
This is an excellent "essay" that is 1000 characters shows a lot of imagery and expresses your feelings a lot
OptimistPRIM3 - / 7  
Oct 28, 2012   #3
I love how you talk about the shin guards and their strength. I love the imagery too. For the last line, think you should leave it as grass instead of changing it to field. I love soccer too and I thought this was a good essay


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