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Extracurricular programs/ Research in the Bio Sciences; U Michigan: Unique qualities

Dabbagh 7 / 11 1  
Jan 4, 2013   #1
Hey! Here is my supplement essay for the University of Michigan. I am applying to the engineering school, and I answered the prompt below accordingly. I desperately need feedback on this essay because I want to submit my application as soon as possible. Thanks in advance!

-Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the speci#c undergraduate College or School (including preferred admission and dual degree
programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests?

All three of my older sisters chose to pursue degrees in medical majors. Consequently, I started reading about many different majors that incorporate biology and medicine, including engineering. I had always been fascinated by the continuous breakthroughs of technology. For instance, I would have never imagined that there would be a transition from a 130nm semiconductor node to another 22nm one in only twelve years. I had always enjoyed mathematical problems and loved numbers. My interest in engineering grew as I started to view its disciplines in depth.

I had read many articles and watched many videos relating to applications of engineering. I was in Disneyland when I saw a demonstration of Honda's robot, Asimo. Seeing the sophisticated movements of the robot made me ponder upon the possible ways in which robots could be utilized to make our lives easier. I developed an interest in robotics.

As I learned more about robotics, I came across the term "feedback control", which is one of the main concepts implemented in bipedal robots like the Honda robot, Asimo. It sparked my curiosity, so I decided to read more about it. I came to realize that it is one of the main concepts of control systems. I started teaching myself about basic control systems, one of the main branches of mechanical engineering, mostly by reading books like Kuo's and Golnaraghi's Automatic Control Systems and going through online articles. I learned about closed loop systems as well as the different types of controllers. Some of the concepts were harder to grasp than others, especially those reliant on fundamentals of engineering; such as the use of step responses to evaluate a system's BIBO stability. I derived great pleasure from reading about robotics, and it is the main reason why I became fond of control systems. I knew that mechanical engineering engineering was ideal for me.

Extracurricular programs like Saudi Aramco's Summer Program Special and University of Chicago's Research in the Biological Sciences exposed me to the practical side of engineering. The former acquainted me with the work environment present in labs and power plants, and the latter introduced me to intensive research. Upon completing those two programs, I knew that engineering was ideal for me.

Coming from a country whose economy is petroleum-based, I want to employ my education in engineering to explore other resources and make it less dependent on oil. By studying mechanical engineering at the University of Michigan, I can contribute in newly introduced industries in the country, such as the automobile industry. I wish that I can work along with pioneers in the field of control systems like professor Jessy Grizzle and partake in the further development of the amazing MABEL robot. MABEL had an impact on my decision to become a future Wolverine.

NOTE: I realize that my essay does not fully answer the prompt, and that is why I was hoping you could give me suggestions on how I could possibly improve it.

Udeeptc 3 / 9  
Jan 4, 2013   #2
Its a good and well structured essay which displays your genuine interest and knowledge in science. However, you have concentrated more on your career ambitions and not on the prompt.

I suggest you read about the engineering course program at University of michigan and draw parallels between the opportunities provided and your ambitions.
For eg. I am sure UM also organises extracurricular science programs such as the Saudi Aramco's Summer Program Special. You could talk about what you expect to learn from such programs and how they will help you achieve your goals.

Good luck!!!!

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