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Extracurriculars and intense studies - Stanford Prompt (about something that is meaningful)


Daegu 2 / 2  
Dec 31, 2021   #1

Tell us about something that is meaningful to you and why



"Ma, if I became like Albert Einstein, would you be proud of me?" My ten-year-old self asked. From my parents' seemingly strict expectations of good grades and extracurriculars, I thought I would hear a simple yes from my mom, but instead, I heard the complete opposite:

"Einstein might have been a genius, but a peaceful home life was something he never seemed to achieve. If it means that you have an unhappy family in the future, then no: I don't want you to be Einstein."

In high school, I immersed myself in various extracurriculars and intense studies. I won't lie, succeeding was joyful to relish in, but it was lonely. I often skipped family dinners and car drives, constantly hopping onto the next assignment. It wasn't sustainable, and I realized that academics couldn't be my only life. Yes, maybe I could have spent the extra hour perfecting my English essay, but instead, I decided to support my little sister at her volleyball game (I didn't realize how good she was!). Maybe I could've spent lunch break refining resolutions for my international Model UN conference, but then I would've missed out on the amazing friends I made worldwide. At Stanford, I will undoubtedly strive to prosper in my classes and contribute to the campus culture through my interdisciplinary interests. But like my mom said: it will only be done by me being my name, the girl who now remembers to cherish her familial and friendship joys.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Jan 2, 2022   #2
The response provided by the mother to the 10 year old child is not believable. it is a response that someone who has researched the life of Einstein will provide as a response to the same question. It is a made up scenario that you hope will impress the reviewer. Instead, he will see that you are trying extremely hard to make a memorable impression on the reviewer, to the point where, he will actually see through your actions.

In order to make this essay work, leave Einstein out of the discussion. Use a straightforward and heartfelt response instead. The main body has a good foundation, it just needs the same kind of personal introduction, without trying to over impress. The most impresssive responses are always, the ones that come from the heart rather from the imagination.


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