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'Exuberance' -- Common App Essay #6 Free Choice


hwei1994 2 / 7  
Nov 29, 2011   #1
My Common App Essay -- appreciating your generous advice!

Exuberance

"I want to be like a single cell." said I, at a natural science class when my teacher asked for the creature to make an analog of me, "It seems simply fresh and alive, but it has an elegant and metamorphic structure; it is ephemeral, compared with the globe, while it keeps transforming, duplicating, covering all around with the most exuberant power."

Wide spread in natural science, my interests once granted me with the label as "versatile", merging physics, astronomy, biology, geology, environs--and the most, chemistry. Totally fascinated, I considered it as the sorcery of nature. Ever since, my vitality kept flaming: either libraries or labs had my marks of figures; I learned, questioned and affirmed, and in a desirable return, I could have a view of the living magic created by tubes and chemicals. Once I even rushed, with an extra-size lab-coat, heavy-and-muggy boots and partly-worn gloves, to class--a performing course--so I told about my "fashion" vividly and made another fun, then kept rambling in the mysterious world with inspirational, changeful imaginations with unextinguished sparkles. And I again engaged myself in labs, again learning, questioning and affirming, in alacrity.

"Oh, dear, your DNA must be composed of convoluted polymers named fancy and truth." said my teacher. Yep; I loved envisioning the splendid view I had kept in memory since absorbed in photography; I enjoyed the scenery revolving ever in daydreams at a sunset on the coast side; for the chemicals as if invoked to act by wizards but also certified to react by founded properties, things were even more alluring since I could grasp the underlying and have a lucid insight.

Thus I was going to bring about the integration. I studied the "sorcery", the visual effects of chemical reactions, and tried to deliver a selection of them in a flowing show. At first the abundant types of reactions dazzled my eyes as I could not make an aesthetic interlock; fortunately, I got a finesse. I asked for electrolysis to evoke the reactions, and used knowledge about materials and apparatus--electrodes, batteries, glass, graphite, PET & PEDOT--to build a special equipment by which one could move a electric-transmissive brush at will to switch on or off any unitary electrolysis baths arrayed in lines and rows with thin bulkheads, whereby the colors of pH indicators in solutions varied in control and only water and electricity was consumed. After operation when units accorded to the landscape, the pictures on the water-made screen--once a symbol, a flow of waves, then the image of laurels along a lake--seemed a reunion of scenes hosted by water. The series of scenes exulted as the water vibrated, recalling me of all the imaginations drawing near to reality.

"Yeah. I love them both." I exhibited my live-scenery show in lab suit, and found the integration influencing my thoughts and pursuits, exerting the exuberance of inspirations like a blossom which derived from a single cell with double helix. A thirsty dreamer seeking for truth. An imaginative researcher enlivening his fancy.

Thank you in advance!

sarahjane515 1 / 2  
Dec 1, 2011   #2
Hwei,

It's a wonderful topic, and I get the idea of what you're trying to convey to your readers. However your message gets difficult to follow when you jump around between instances where your passion for multiple areas of art and science overlap. I feel you would be better off going into detail about one of these instances. You have a very colorful and spectacular vocabulary, and I believe that would be a huge advantage if you'd just break it down and focus on one situation instead of trying to cover multiple ones in short, crowded paragraphs.
OP hwei1994 2 / 7  
Dec 1, 2011   #3
Hi Sarah,
I greatly appreciate your advice.
However would you mind my explanation?
The 'fancy' which conveys the idea of natural beauty (including chemistry as 'sorcery' of nature, coz it is the nature that determines what chemistry is all about) and 'truth' which presents the insight (that's natural too, though synthesized by human) intend to form a rational fascination for nature, and the underlying fascination extends apparant exuberance of thoughts, emotions and actions. The topic 'exuberance' concord to the characteristic of a cell, which includes double helixs of DNA. A researcher is often more than not a dreamer, and a dreamer should get his fancy realized. That might be the common sense(I guess?) and the character of reseacher/dreamer falls on me.

I understand that I'm taking sort of risk of being oblique, but I need a relevant balance between the two ideas which inner-relates and promotes each other.

The message you mentioned as 'difficult to follow'...did you mean the 3rd paragraph? Well I intended to elucidate what 'fancy' means to me and thus I wrote on two scenes; the last sentence of the 3rd para was meant to evoke a transition back to truth, the underlying. I believe this idea could be easily got according to the para:'That's the fancy from which lucid inghts could be discovered that allures me the most, and I attempted to enliven it into reality, with the truth which I'd held.' This serves as a connection.

Would this still be difficult? I'm expecting your ideas! :)
OP hwei1994 2 / 7  
Dec 7, 2011   #4
Guys I need some extra advice.
Just be free to tell me what you may describe the writer according to this essay please.

Thank you a lot in advance! -)

Haochuan
ericao2010 12 / 32  
Jan 5, 2012   #5
Hey! I like the flow of your essay however I'm confused to what is the prompt you are trying to answer? It seems like a lot of free writing to me.
OP hwei1994 2 / 7  
Jan 5, 2012   #6
Hi Erica,
Yeah that's the common app #6 and I could write on whatever I'd like to as individual descriptions.


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