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"Every facet..." - Why Northwestern? - Avoiding repetition?


genevieveedu 5 / 14  
Dec 29, 2010   #1
Prompt: What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?

I was worried any answers I would give would simply be repetitive of all others... so tell me what you think of this:

I prefer not to group myself with the masses. Of course, as irony will have it, neither do many - and it is with that same 25,369 'many' applicants that I share a common allure to Northwestern. We are individuals. We want for ourselves and we search for ourselves and we find Northwestern for ourselves.

Every facet of Northwestern is exciting - from the terrific research opportunities to the fantastic freshman seminars. Who wouldn't crave such options? But it is never just the opportunities themselves. Northwestern's website will explain every benefit of the university. The Weinberg College section particularly lays out nine reasons 'and counting' to choose Weinberg. But the purpose is what I will do with these reasons.

There are extensive curriculum choices and small class sizes and the finest administration and the thrill of the windy city. There is community involvement and the chance to travel the world.

Yet given the privilege, this is all a choice - a selection I have already made. And while I will embrace every aspect of Northwestern, I do not want this only for myself. I want to be a part of the progressive Northwestern community, the many of individuals.

With top-ranked professors and highly respected academic departments, Northwestern provides the ideal education for the passionate and motivated. It is with such outstanding instruction and inspiration that my potential will not only unfold, but thrive.

All responses are much appreciated.
perplexity215 3 / 17  
Dec 29, 2010   #2
I dont think its repetitive.
However, I do think you could elaborate a little more on the reasons you provided. Maybe include a few specifics and tie in how it this quality benefits you personally. Like you said Northwestern give you "the chance to travel the world," so include something about maybe its been a life long dream and Northwestern has the best study aboard program. Something related to you.

Other than that, I think its a good essay!

I hope I helped a little. Good luck!

Edit my common app short answer please?
OP genevieveedu 5 / 14  
Dec 30, 2010   #3
Thank you.
Here is my revision, I really only added a sentence:

[...] But the purpose is what I will do with these reasons. These are the opportunities that fill my dreams - of exploring not only my studies and passions, but also varying cultures and societies, the promise of the future, and myself. There are extensive curriculum choices and small class sizes and the finest administration and the thrill of the windy city. [...]
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 15, 2011   #4
I love that intro! Smart humor is always impressive.. you are cool.

...and it is with that same those 25,369 'many ' applicants that I share a common allure to Northwestern. ---I understand why you had those words, but I think it is better without 'em. The sentence was hard to read. :-)!!

I challenge you to find an awesome way to say this... not so awkward ---> But the purpose is what I will do with these reasons.

.. a selection I have already made. And while I will embrace every aspect of Northwestern, I do not want this only for myself. I want to be a part of the progressive ... only unfold, but thrive. I hate to chop a lot of good writing, but look at what you actually SAY in the sentences at the end. They don't amount to anything. Each paragraph has to offer strong evidence to strengthen your case: you are hell bent on enacting a carefully devised, detailed plan.

:-) so.. add some nuts to the candy bar. Add some specific, short term goals, references perhaps to some articles written by professors in the department associated with your goals, real evidence that you have serious short term goals.


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