Failing in school - Significant experience

Topic : Are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realized that have helped to define you as a person?

When I was in my early high school, thinking that even if I do not study hard can still have a passing grade and that attitude keeps me very lazy and carefree student. I am a very lazy student, who sleeps in class, chats with his seatmates, lots of tardy, and does not participate in any single activity in school made the teachers no reason to pass me. I did even miss my opportunity to try robotics because I am a probation student and also got kicked out from school.

My mom always tells me that I should listen to her. I realized that she was right, that the regret is always in the end. I really want to say sorry to her because she tried her very best to remind me and even cry for me just to study harder and stop being foolish in school.

Failing in school and taking summer classes every year made me realize that I should stop being lazy. Money and time spent every single year made me feel guilty and very blessed. Success of other people sometimes made me envy but I realized that I can also be like them. Love and support of my family, relatives, teachers, friends, and all of these really keeps me motivated.

Now, I do really have a hard time to improve myself, I am still lazy, but I am really trying my best to change or improved it, before, I do not really care what others think of me, like criticizing me and saying bad things about me, but when I learned that my parents are also affected, I swear to myself that I will try to stop the laziness inside of me and one day, I will do something that could make them happy and proud of me. My flaws and mistakes always remind me that I am a person, I am not perfect.

I picked this quote because I believed that it will help me to accept defeat and look forward to another challenges in life.
"If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost."
-Zig Ziglar

This event is a stepping stone for me and it really helped me define myself as a person.
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pls help me in this essay... pls correct me
Tnx 4 feedbacks

Not a good thing to include in a college essay.


Quite cliche.

Your realizations are not only cliche but poorly explained. How did summer school change your laziness? Your motivation is guilt?

You've got a lot of tense issues going on. You go back and forth between past and present tense without rhyme or reason. If you want us to believe you are no longer a lazy student, demonstrate this by at least taking sufficient care to write in past tense when speaking of the past and in present tense when speaking of the present.

@Llamapoop123 and EF_Simone
thanks for the time....this is my 2nd attempt
pls correct me tnx alot
also can i have some tips and ideas how to start my essay?
and pls rate me from 1-10
i know that i still suck, im not good in english but tnx for feedbacks

i believe that this is also an achievement for me because this is my only first time to post my essay and make an essay very seriously.

sry 4 asking too much

Uh-oh. Somehow, your essay became less coherent after revision. I'm going to go back to the first version and correct the verb tenses for you so that you can see what I was saying.

When I was in my early years of high school, I thought that even if I did not study hard I could still have a passing grade.andT hat attitude made me a very lazy and carefree student. I was a very lazy student, who slept in class, chatted with his seatmates, was often tardy, and did not participate in any single activity.in school madeThis gave the teachers no reason to pass me. I did even missed my opportunity to try robotics because I was a probation student and also got kicked out from school.

My mom always tells me that I should listen to her. I realized that she was right, that the regret is always in the endfollows poor choices . I really want to say sorry to her because she tried her very best to remind me and even cried for me just to study harder and stop being foolish in school.

Failing in school and taking summer classes every year made me realize that I should stop being lazy. The money and time spent every single year made me feel guilty and very blessed.

Now, I still have a hard time to improve myself, but I am really trying my best. My flaws and mistakes always remind me that I am a person; I am not perfect.

I picked these quotes because I believed that they will help me to accept defeat and look forward to other challenges in life:

"If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost." And
"Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude."
-Zig Ziglar

thnk u very much... is the 1st version essay ok?
can you give me some tips, or advise, how to start my essay
...so lucky to find this site on google

Two things wrong with this. You use "very" and you repeat the same thing in the following sentence:



I always thought that teachers can't really decide whether to pass or fail a person because it is based on points.


This is your chance to make the reader believe that you're hardworking. Expand.

this is my final essay is this ok? gudluk 4 me thnk u all

tnx i wish i could post it again but today is my dedline...
but anyway tnx... im so lucky to have a free proofreader tnx

This is probably too negative for an application essay on this topic. You were a lazy student who did poorly academically. Is this what you want the application officers to know about you? You do mention that you are trying hard to improve yourself now, which could be good, but only if you actually are doing better now. Maybe you are. I don't know, because you don't say. If you came to the decision by yourself to try to improve, that would have been marginally better, but you imply you just gave in to your mother's demands. Worse, none of this is illustrated with anecdotes that show any real change in your attitude or performance. As a result, the essay leaves the reader with a fairly dim view of you as a student, which is not what you want in this sort of essay. Pick a different experience or accomplishment, one that will put you in a better light in the telling of it.