I was in the second grade when I had my first theater performance. My mom had forced me to join the local children's theater troupe in hopes that my knack for singing pop songs in key would be refined into something a little more...marketable. Unfortunately, her plan backfired when I failed my audition for the role of Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Jr. and lost the part to a fifth grader. Instead, it was decided that my round and pudgy seven year old figure would be better suited for the part of an Oompa Loompa. I was so upset being casted as an extra along with the rest of the untalented "little kids" that I cried during our first three rehearsals. Even during our performances of the infantilized show, I couldn't help but look around at the rest of the orange painted children surrounding me and feel like a complete disappointment. That one failure scared me away from auditioning for better parts for several years afterwards. I went on to be an unnamed Who in Horton Hears a Who and Goat #2 in Three of a Kind, a story about the different triads in nursery rhymes that focused on the story of the three little bears. I took on these insignificant roles defeatedly, accepting that the role our theater director assigned to me was what she thought was best suited for me. I saw these parts as insignificant and unimportant, a waste of my time.
Two years into my auditioning dry-spell, my theater troupe's music director began offering singing lessons. My mom immediately signed me up for weekly lessons hoping that this little bolster to my confidence would be the ticket to getting me bigger and better roles. What she didn't expect was for me to start singing opera at the startling age of nine. The first operatic piece I ever performed was Giuseppe Giordani's "Caro Mio Ben", and I completely butchered it. I respired at random intervals, phrasing the last thing on my mind. I was given the sheet music by Mrs. Albright, who thought my youthful soprano voice might be well suited to opera. Unfortunately, the only thing I knew about written music was how the duration of the notes themselves worked and nothing about the pitches on the staff. I was an inexperienced singer to say the least. Despite my concerns about performing such a challenging piece, to my surprise I impressed the audience of soccer moms and wrinkled grandparents. People I didn't even know came up to me afterwards and congratulated me on what they considered to be an outstanding performance. Although I continued to participate in theater productions, I shifted most of my attention to opera from that point on.
Immediately following my Oompa Loompa debacle, I thought I wasn't meant to perform. I saw theater, acting, and singing as just a chore. Performing was something that had to be done rather than something I wanted to do. It wasn't until I experienced this failure that I was able to find my true niche: opera. I stopped worrying about what part I would get during my audition and instead focused on singing the music and in turn ended up getting better roles. I went from being an unnamed Who to being Lily St. Regis in the troupe's production of Annie Jr., and I gained a confidence in my abilities as a performer that I had never had before. If I hadn't failed that first audition, I would never have discovered my passion for opera. Although I've stopped performing in musicals and plays, I've continued taking opera lessons, and I owe it all to my humble beginnings as an unhappy Oompa Loompa.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 
4780 Allana, I'll be giving you a general review of your essay below. I would like to request you to post the original prompt though. So that we can better assess your qualifications and narrative for relevance and compliance. Somehow though, I think I know which prompt you are responding to. I just need to be sure.
Now, the unhappy Oompa Loompa was only 8 years old when she took to the stage. Then she was 9 years old when she first sang opera. I fear that the ages will have a negative effect on your application because, and I say this from experience, reviewers do not believe that children of these ages have a believable and life-long ambition regarding the major they are applying to. Now, unless you are a child prodigy with the YT videos and recommendations from other notable names in the business training you, there is absolutely no way that they will consider these as life altering failures and accomplishments. Is there any chance that you have a more recent failure to speak of which better reflects an age of responsibility and awareness of your possible dreams for your future?
You need to have a better reflection coming from within you indicated in the essay. There is so much information about your mother being a "stage mother" and "handling" you more than her being a mother to you. Then the reference to other music teachers and how they "changed" your career path at such a tender age tells the reviewer that you may not have had a say in who you really were or wanted to become. The failure you depict was more about failing those around you rather than failing yourself. That is why these ages are not accepted in proper academic circles as a reference point for an applicant's true realization of his ambitions.
There is a need to create your voice in the essay. One that leaves out your mother and music teachers. One that tells the reviewer that you were old enough to assess who you want to be in life and how you plan to get there. The failure becomes more relevant once there is a clear personal loss on your part instead of presenting the way others pushed you towards a particular career path. So make yourself older, wiser, and more informed in your essay in order to overcome the lack of personal connection to your failures and successes.
Own the essay. Don't let the reviewer know that you were influenced by others in making career decisions. He wants to know what kind of failure you had and what you learned from it. It is a personal failure, not one brought about by your mother's influence or a success brought about by your mother's insistence on your pursuing this field. Find your voice and use it.
@Holt
The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
This is the original prompt. Thank you for the feedback, I really appreciate it. I'll definitely revise my essay. Also, I notice you're a very active member on here and have a quick question about this website in general. Is it considered rude to post a lot of essays to get feedback at one time? I just found this website and I'm currently applying to six colleges, four of which I already have all the essays written, just not entirely revised. Thanks again!!!
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 4780 Am I that active? Thanks for the compliment Allana. In reference to your question, the forum admin doesn't consider it rude to post multiple essays at the forum. Provided that you post one essay per thread / post at a time. That means you can only have one essay in this current thread. If you want to have another essay reviewed, you have to start new thread / post. The rule of thumb is, one essay topic per thread / post.
That makes it easier for the reviewers to concentrate on improving your work and you can better keep track of the suggestions you are being given. After all, you wrote the essay one at a time. It stands to reason that the editing should also be done one at a time. Go ahead and start multiple threads for your essays. Just make sure to always provide the prompt and keep it to a single essay per thread / post. I'll be happy to assist you as soon as I can.
