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Failure can be part of the ticket to success, Stanford exchange program


Twinkle 6 / 17  
Dec 10, 2009   #1
Failure can be part of the ticket to success and part of life.
1. Describe the time that you think your world has come to an end?
2. How did you cope?
3. What did you learn from it?
4. how has it shaped who you are today?

Is this story good enough for Stanford exchange program? I would like to answer all of the question more completely and clearly. I try to rearrange but I think it need a lot of improvement.

Please advice any ideas are really appreciate

When I found myself nowhere to studying, at that time I asked myself with tears how this can happen to me. I love to go to school, love studying, love to meet and do so many activities with friends. I believe all the time school is one of places that I can do my best. I always got excellent grade, my student profile is very good and I was school's representative. I always challenge myself in many competitions, I never missed. When I studied grade9, I went to admission new high school. This school is first ranking and very popular. I also agree because this school is very good at science which I'm interested. But this time was not like anytime. My old school refuse to accept any student back if students sent application and went to have a test other schools. However, I knew I don't consider much about this. I think it's like other competition which I'd ever had experience before. However, the test is very difficult for me, some of questions I never know before. When they announce result, I was in very late back up ranking. The first time when I knew, I was shock. That night I remember I burst of tears before I was slept with the voice of my parents talked outside my bedroom.

Next morning, my mother and I discuss what to do next. We decided to apply to every school we knew. I accepted I felt so hurt but I knew everything must go on. My mom is the best encouragement for me. We went everywhere to find my new school. It was very hard time for me and especially for my mom who had to leave work some day. And this point hurt me so much. It's not only I'm fail about test and lost some confident in my mind but it make someone who really love me and I love her very much in trouble. It's much harder that I though so much although I am good student al of my life. I failed great many times at plenty of schools because almost school open for grade7 and ministry of education can't give us any detail to find new school. I understood them that they had so much works to do more than find school for only one student however they give us encouragement. So many people at that time blame me and gave many discouragements. Only thing I do for cure this mistake I made is take a responsibility accept my failure and have to go on to find new school.

That happen taught me many things. The most important thing I learnt is failure is a part of life. Anything can't be better if I can't realize it is my fault. Preparation is very important things for life not only for examination but also in everything I do. It makes me to be more prudent person. This experience called failure also be my great chance. Studying in old school for 9 years at this time I change to new high school is so fantastic. I went to new environment, met new very nice friend who are be my best friends since today. I see the world wide and I learnt to help myself to do many things which all made me grown up. If I never get the chance to fail at that time, I will miss so many great things that I have today. It help me for make a plan for entrance to university and for life, search and use sources as much as I can find to gather and see whole picture, don't pride much about self. And I learnt that failure is not a monster, it doesn't kill us. But they empower me more strength. This failure doesn't make me afraid new challenge but it tell me to brave to take new thing. And do the best when I decide to do anything. After that I was admitted to academic Olympiad in mathemetics and biology which give me invaluable experiences and I still got top student prize at the last year of high school.

Failure is only success turn inside out. It's some kind of challenge that everyone has to encounter. I never feel this is my failure now because I already known the only failure in life is fear to failure.

Thank you very much
Rowa 5 / 15  
Dec 10, 2009   #2
I love to go to school, love studying, love to meet and do so many activities with friends

I love going to school, studying, and going out with friends.
you should maintain the same tense throughout the sentence.

I believe all the time school is one of places that I can do my best

I always believe that school is one of the places where I can do my best.

I always got excellent grade, my student profile is very good and I was school's representative

I always got excellent grades. my student profile is very good; which made me represent my school...

I always challenge myself in many competitions, I never missed

this is not clear

When I studied grade9, I went to admission new high school

when I was in ninth grade, I moved to a new high school.

Overall you have a lot of grammar mistakes. You should let your English teacher review your essay before you send it.
I advise you to revise this essay a bit more
OP Twinkle 6 / 17  
Dec 10, 2009   #3
Thank you! Rowa
Now I don't have English teacher so I don't know how to do
I know this need a lot of improvement, please give me steps to follow or anything. I'm really appreciate:)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 12, 2009   #4
When I found myself with nowhere to stu dy, at that time I asked myself with tears how this can happen to me. I love to go to school, love studying, love to meet new people and join them in so many activities, making friends.

I always got excellent grades, my student profile is very good, and I was school's representative (representative in the what?).

The first time I heard what was happening, I was shock. That night I remember a burst of tears before I fell asleep to the sound of my parents' voices talking outside my bedroom.

What happen taught me many things. The most important thing I learnt is failure is a part of life. Nothing can be better if I can't realize when it is my fault.

I went to new environment, met many new and very nice friends -- and they have been my best friends until today.

It helped me to make a plan ...


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