Please Edit. Thank you in advance!
Describe your participation in extracurricular activities.
What have you learned from your experience(s)?
(Examples may include: community service, volunteer work, employment, school clubs, sports, family, church, etc.) *
As a FaithChurch volunteer teacher and dance choreographer, I have a responsibility, a duty, and a bond. It is a voluntary obligation to my church's kids. Every Sunday my uncle drives me to FaithChurch, my church and family. I am welcomed by Chui, Blanca, and other volunteers. Together, we organize the children's room and pray. As the children start coming, Blanca and I prepare our dance team with motivational words. Then, we lead the children in choreographed dance performances in front of the congregation. There is something special in this... a contagious ecstasy.
When the last song has finished, Chui dismisses the children to their bible classes. Twelve fourth-grade kids come sprinting towards Dania, another teacher, and me as we take them to a smaller room where we teach them the lesson of the week with songs, puppets, videos, and welcoming smiles. During our lessons, the kids share with me their problems, their goals, theirs doubts, in hopes that I as a more "experienced person" can advise them in what seems to trouble them. When I respond, I become aware of the disparity in our perspectives. I view myself as just another volunteer, but these twelve kids, maybe for just an hour, view me as their leader, a person who is there to guide them. I will continue to be a leader and a role model to my twelve students. I will teach them, guide them, and motivate them.
FaithChurch is more than a church to me; it is the family that I have had since I was eight years old. Not understanding English as a child, I feared speaking to people and as result isolated myself. FaithChurch gave me the tools to overcome my isolation and become a leader. Now, I am not only a children supervisor and teacher, but I have also taken the responsibility to come every Thursday afternoon to work on the following Sunday's media and dance routine. Once every month, I also participate in the Alcance Group, a FaithChurch organization that helps local people learn about the opportunities God and the United States have to offer. Unlike school where teachers sort us by age, abilities, and preferences like clothes in a store, my church enables me to meet people of different ages, experiences, and perspectives. It is by learning from them and teaching them what I know that I am the person who I am today.
FaithChurch is a small place, but the place that makes you feel valued, teaches you how to combat your fears, and prepares you to be a leader does not have to be big.
Every Sunday my uncle drives me to FaithChurch, my church and family
I suggest you to put comma between sunday and my uncle
Once every month, I also participate in the Alcance Group, a FaithChurch organization that helps local people learn about the opportunities God and the United States have to offer.
I think that your sentence above has double verbs which are not separated by a conjunction to connect them appropriate
Unlike school where teachers sort us by age, abilities, and preferences like clothes in a store, my church enables me to meet people of different ages, experiences, and perspectives
when you use commas, you should put balance nouns there..I suggest you to write (ages, abilities, and preferences)
