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Family of doctor and geophysicist - international student/ penn state personal statement


Dapocalypse7 3 / 7 1  
Oct 23, 2014   #1
English is not my strong suit, so there may be a lot of mistakes.

Being born in a family of scientists, my mother a doctor and my father a geophysicist I have enjoyed sciences from a young age, so it only felt natural that I should pursue a career as a computer scientist. Through my A-level courses I have acquired a variety of skills especially in Mathematics and physics where I was required to think logically about each question and became very interested in their applications in the world. Whereas Economics I have enjoyed as you are required to analyse questions thoroughly before you can tackle them.

For my work experience I was placed in Olutoyl Estate development & Services LTD, which is a real estate firm. Although I wanted to be placed in a Computing firm, it was still an eye-opening experience as I learnt about working in an office and what is expected of an employee. During this time my interpersonal skills increased as I worked together with the other employees and observed how the different pieces of real estate where sold to clients.

During the 2nd Term of year 10, I had a leadership training program in school where we were taught the skills required of a leader through a variety of challenging activities. During this time we had to work as a team looking at each other's strengths and weakness to get our goals achieved which resulted in my group being at the top at the end of the training. This training has helped me to become a leader in my boarding house as one of the older students, I have to act as an example to the younger boarders in my house and help them with their homework.

Outside of school I participate in a varied range of activities from senior bible study (SBS) to Community service. I am a member of the 3rd XI cricket team and the 4th XI hockey team, which has helped me develop the ability to work well with others. I also participate in Badminton and during L6th I played Fives. As for hobbies I am an avid gamer and I also enjoy reading novels such as the "Heroes of Olympus" books by Rick Riordan, I love how both video games and novels can immerse people in worlds so close to our own or ones that are completely different from ours. Playing these video games sparked my interest in how the consoles they are played on are made, which led me to open up my PlayStation 2 when I was 8 and take it apart some more much to the horror of my parents and my fascination with electronics grew as I wondered how the individual components came together to make the consoles that I enjoyed using.

I believe that with the skills that I have acquired inside and outside of school I can overcome the challenges of academic life at Penn state and reach my full potential as an individual and use this opportunity to widening my horizons.

thanks in advance for the help.
YULIS 9 / 17 1  
Oct 23, 2014   #2
Being born in a family of scientists, my mother a doctor my mother is a doctor ## and my father a geophysicist my father is a geophysicist ## I have enjoyed sciences from a young age since i was young ##, so it only felt natural that I should pursue a career as a computer scientist.

During the 2nd Term of year 10, I had a leadership training program in school where we were taught we taught ## the skills required of a leader through a variety of challenging activities.

Your essay is good, but you should watch out with your grammar.i read many error gramatical in to be (was / were ) + V2... and (have /has) + V3...because sometimes u talk about present tense but u used the past tense grammar.


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