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"my family and my friends" - Everyone belongs to different communities


meowmix 1 / 1  
Feb 1, 2011   #1
Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)

In my life, two groups of people have influenced me to become the person I am today; my family and my friends. They are the two groups of people I identify with. My parents have infused me with my morals and they could not have done a better job. They are ethnically Indian but that has not had an effect on my life, and I feel very little connection to my ancestral roots. They have been involved with all aspects with my life without being controlling. Under their watch I have developed into an adult ready to begin the journey of life. My place in the this relationship is one of a loving son in a perfect parent-offspring bond. I listen to what they have to say and adapt it into my life. The second community I belong to is my group of friends. My group has been together since 7th grade and we have all grown up together. We are as diverse as a group could get, with people of all different income levels, ethnicity, and upbringings. We treat treat each other in the group as equal. I firmly believe diversity around people improves them, and the diversity of my friends has allowed me to view things in a different way then I would have developed living life alone. Without my friends or parents being in my life and being a part of the decisions I have made, I do not know how I would have turned out or how my life would be right now. But I do know that I am thankful for all the input different people in my life have had on me, and I am happy with the way I emerged from childhood.

Does anyone see anything that I could improve on? this essay is due today. All help would be appreciated thanks in advance!
swoosh18 4 / 40  
Feb 1, 2011   #2
It says choose one, so you should probably just talk about family or friends or meld your response together so that family and friends are like one thing.
OP meowmix 1 / 1  
Feb 1, 2011   #3
ahhh good catch thank you very much. Do you think it would be acceptable to say that the one community I choose is family and friends?
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Feb 9, 2011   #4
my family and my friends. They are the two groups of people I identify with.

Well, what else is there? Enemies? I think it is not helpful to group them that way... it is better to find a more creative way to categorize the people who influenced you.

I firmly believe diversity around people improves them,--- I like this part. I agree with you!

Well, this essay is just a little too simplistic. You write well, and i think you are capable of tackling a subtler, more meaningful, abstract theme. What useful insight can you express as the theme of this essay?

:-)


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