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"About my family and my graphic design skills" - my admission essay to fsu (Vires)


yemins 1 / -  
Oct 3, 2010   #1
- The Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

A famous quote by Albert Einstein states that "pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas". The terms "Vires, Artes, Mores" characterize me in many ways. Artes, is shown in my pursuit for mathematics. Many high school students give up on math because they see no logic behind it. They ask "When will I use this in the future?". I try to avoid this question and learn the roots of math; in fact, I find the answers to problems in my life using math. Artes is also shown through my graphic design abilities. I have a passion for editing photographs. I can come up with countless ways to transform a photo. Every time I think of a new design, I want to do more. Vires, meaning strengths of all kinds, is reflected in my life every day. I have the strength to never give up. If I have four exams on the same day, I study and retain all the information I need to get the highest possible grade I can get. I challenge myself to the extreme by taking AP and Honors classes. Challenging myself is a part of my personality. Mores comes from my character. My family makes below what the average family would make. Only one of my parents graduated from college, and the other only completed 2 years in a community college. All of my high school I have had to take advantage of the grants and fee waivers given to us. From experiencing the constant stress of not having enough money to do certain things hand on, I have become determined to excel above my parents. I have a low end paying job in fast-food that is incredibly stressful. It has taught me how to work as a team and work with others. Furthermore it has taught me how to work harder in school, so I won't have to be doing this job my whole life. Having a job to bring more money in, while going to school, has made me a better person. It has made me want to earn enough money to support everyone in the family I will have, and give my children a sophisticated education. By attending Florida State University, I intend to acquire the highest degree I can get in computational mathematics because it is what I love to do, and I am naturally good at implementing it.
radwa 6 / 11  
Oct 3, 2010   #2
They ask "When will I use this in the future" --> I suggest putting a question mark
If I have four tests on the same day
Challenging myself is a part of my personality.
Having a job to bring more money in, while going to school, has made me a better person.

Alex, I am touched! Good luck :)
gabshel 3 / 7  
Oct 3, 2010   #3
I feel like you should try combining some of your sentences you have a lot of short sentences, which work well for impact but you have too many of them. Maybe do this:

"I try to avoid this question and learn the roots of math; in fact, I find the answers to problems in my life using math"

Good Luck, and Great examples!!
carlynnross 4 / 7  
Oct 4, 2010   #4
I have recently completed the same essay and I believe you have great ideas but I also feel FSU is looking for how you are a well rounded and successful student. Instead of everything relating back to school, maybe you should also support your examples with more extracurricular experiences. Your "mores" section is a strong example as you talk about your work experience, you should add more to the other sections


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