I would really like to see what you guys think of my essay. Because it's a hard topic for me to talk about I'm worried I didn't translate my feelings into words very well and may have been too vague in some areas.
Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Essay:
Throughout my life, my family has been an immense source of guidance and inspiration. My experiences with them have shaped who I am, my dreams, and my aspirations. When I was a young child, my father was diagnosed with a variety of chronic illnesses which can incapacitate him on a daily basis. He has problems being consistent when it comes to scheduling because he never knows when he may begin to feel ill. At times he can go from feeling great to needing help doing the simplest of tasks. As a result, he is unable to work, and it can be extremely difficult for me to maintain extracurricular activities while having to take care of him and my little sister. He was only in his mid-30s and he was, for the most part, unable to work or continue pursuing his childhood dreams.
At first it was really difficult for me to comprehend the fact that we are all limited by time. I remember being told that for him every birthday is a reminder of what he hasn't accomplished and how now it's too late for him to start. He wanted this to be different for me; he wanted me to live life with no regrets and to let nothing hold me back from my dreams. This forced me to realize that it's best to begin working towards your dreams early on. You never know when your dreams could be cut short, so you have to do everything in your power to make your dreams come true.
After realizing this, I began searching for what would form my dreams and aspirations. Since I have to spend a lot of time helping my dad and sister at home while my mom was at work, I began to explore the wonders of the vast internet. At first it began with childish things such as playing games but to me it became something much more than that. It became a domain for freedom. It was a place where I could do anything and be whoever I wanted to be in order to escape from reality. I could design and create my own ideas as I saw fit.
For a while the internet was just a method of avoiding reality, but that ceased after I realized the amazing potential that it holds. No longer was it just a way of avoiding reality - instead it became a way of creating it. It was then when I decided that I want to spend my time working with computers, creating and programming whatever I need or want. I concluded that I wanted to major in computer science so that I could continue working with computers. I began to take steps toward making my dreams a reality. Slowly, I began to explore different methods and languages of programming. At first it was a daunting task but exploring what other people have created and completed has served as an inspiration to continue. I learned that with programming I can share my passion and solve hard technical problems a keystroke at a time.
My family has helped to shape my dreams and aspirations but my dreams are my own and I will do everything I can to stay on this path because this is what I enjoy. They encourage me and give me the confidence to keep on going. There are always challenges along the way but how you face them is what defines you.
Breathtaking, I loved how it all flowed! I'd just suggest to open up a little bit more on some parts, like for example at the beginning express how you felt when you first saw your dad ill and when talking about your break from reality when being on the computer demonstrate how exactly you feel when on it or what triggered it. Good luck :)
