Prompt #1
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell
us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
I come from a family where everyone refuses to be ordinary.
Initially, my father inherited a photo studio from my grandfather. The life had no stress or suffering, but ordinary. However, my father gave up the photo studio, a place could obtain much income, and decided to go to Beijing looking for a better future and fulfill his dream. Life was extremely tough and lots of problems needed to be overcome that time. After a few years hard working, he finally became a signed photographer of a gallery and held some exhibitions in many different places. He successfully achieved his dream, becoming a well-known artist. During these years, I learned the toughness for the pursuit of the dream but more importantly his path shaped me to keep looking for my own ideal. I knew that the more obstructs one overcame, the better his or hers ability and the stronger his or hers personality, and then the closer to the dream.
My mother is also unique, too. Rather than other middle-aged women who commonly just watching television for relaxation, my mother likes trying new stuffs and always keep pace with the times.
Affected by them, I always do things insistently and had passions to find alternative ways which may uncommon. During the mathematics studying, I sometimes like discovering or using alternative methods to solve problems. When I studied the area of a circle in primary school, rather than using the common formula pi times r square, by using cutting the circle into many pieces of small squares and counting the number, I found the area of a circle is about the Four fifths of the smallest square which can cover the circle. Although this method is not as accurate as the traditional method, but I think it is a quicker way to do estimates and very helpful for checking in the exam.
After graduating from middle school, I abandoned the opportunity to attend a university in China since it would not help me much to achieve my goal, which is to become an individual which does well in economics and contributes to the development of China. I decided to go to America to broaden my view and explore more and most importantly, to receive the best college education after high school. Although I already know that many obstacles are waiting for me during the life there, but I believe these problems would shape me to become a more independent person with better qualities. Life is tough, but only the people who can challenge the life would find the way of success and finally become extraordinary.
I am sure I will, like my father, overcome all the problems when I go outside and finally find my way and achieve my dream, not to be ordinary.
i will appreciate all kinds of improvements, criticisms, etc. Thanks for your help!
I come from a family where everyone refuses to be ordinary.
Initially, my father inherited a photography studio from my grandfather. The life had no stress or suffering, but ordinary. (or)life was very ordinary, no stress or suffering. However, my father gave up the photo studio, a place could obtain much income, and decided to go to Beijing looking for a better future,and fulfilling his dream. Life was extremely tough and lots of problems needed to be overcome that time. After a few years hard working, he finally became a signed photographer of a gallery and held some exhibitions in many different places. He successfully achieved his dream, becoming a well-known artist. During tho se years, I learned the toughness for the pursuit of the dream, but more importantly his path have shaped me to keep looking for my own ideal. I knew that the more obstructs one overcame, the better his or hers ability and the stronger his or hers personality, and then the closest to the dream.
My mother is also unique, too. Rather than other middle-aged women who commonly just watching television for relaxation, my mother likes trying new stuff and always keeping pace with the times.
Affected (or)influenced by them, I always do things insistently;andhadi have passions to find alternative ways, which may be uncommon. During the mathematics studying, I sometimes like discovering or using alternative methods to solve problems. When I studied the area of a circle in primary school, rather than using the common formula pi times r square, i solved it by using cutting the circle into many pieces of small squares and counting the number, I found that the area of a circle is about the Four fifths of the smallest square, which can cover the circle. Although this method is not as accurate as the traditional method, but I think it is a very quickerand helpful way to doforestimating and very helpful for checking answers in the exam.
After graduating from middle school, I abandoned the opportunity to attend a university in China, since it would not help me much toin achieving my goal, which is to becoming an individual whichthat does well in economics and contributes to the development of China. I decided to go to America to broaden my viewvision and explore more, and most importantly to receive the best college education after high school . Although I already know that many obstacles arewould be waiting for me during the life there, but I believe thesethose problems would shapehelp me to become a more independent person with better qualities. Life is tough, but only the people who can challenge the life would find the way of success and finally become extraordinary.
I am sure, I will,like my father, overcome all of the problems when I go outside and finallyto find my way,and achieve my dream, and not to be ordinary.
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i feel like it needs something, that gives it energy. and i think that you should work on combining the first paragraph about you father and the second one about your mother, because i feel like there is a gap between them; you talked about your mother without any introduction.
i think that (Initially, my father inherited a photo studio from my grandfather.) needs more details.
this is my opinion. GOOD LUCK ;^D
thanks~ :)
Hi Xiaohui,
lol, my first name is Xiaorui. Here are some suggestions of mine. Hope they will help.
I think you have already developed your essay very well on your family part (I mean the description of your world), and you should put something more about YOU into this essay. Because I didn't see a lot of YOU in this essay. You should write more about HOW YOUR WORLD CHANGED YOU, and WHAT DID YOU GET FROM YOUR WORLD.
have a good day,
Steven
