Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
As a whole, my extended family has struggled with many unfortunate circumstances: money troubles, divorce and even substance abuse. However, no circumstance has been more unfortunate than that of my family's struggle with PKD. Polycystic kidney disease is a disease that causes one's kidneys to slowly fail as a result of cysts that grow on the kidney. My grandmother watched her mother die of PKD, and my mother watched her mother die of PKD as well. About 27 years ago in 1984, the doctors diagnosed my mom with this disease. However, only a few years ago did her kidneys suddenly began to diminish to fatal lows, and a kidney transplant slowly approached. Never had I thought about death or how privileged I was before my mom became ill.
At the time, my family and I lived in London. My mom left for months at a time to receive chemo treatments to treat her kidney. She returned home about every seven weeks, but these returns were exceedingly tough on our family. I remember the times that she came home with distinct clarity. Everyday became a battle for her and she was unable to perform simple actions everyone takes for granted. It pained me to see her this way. After her week of return to London, she flew back to Texas for more treatments. During my mom's relentlessly long absences, I collapsed in on myself. I did not want to do anything. The fear and anxiety of the chance of losing my mom cloaked me in a world of loneliness. I put up impenetrable walls to suppress the sadness I held inside. It was almost as if my life just took a pause. I kept looking back, contemplating the better days when my mom was healthy, and we lived as a family in bliss. Weeks went by, then months, and I slowly began to realize that I couldn't dwell in the past. I could not change the past, but I could change the present.
My mom is a self-less person, always giving, never expecting anything in return. She constantly encouraged me to live a life of charity, to be the better, merciful person in everything I do. Her love drove out my fear, building my confidence, building who I was and who I am today. I am inordinately close to my mom. During her months away, I came to recognize the worth of these principles of love, kindness, forgiveness, and sincerity. Whether I was at school or at home, with others or alone, my mom taught me to live by these attributes. They now serve as the foundation for everything I undertake in life.
The experience of losing my mother for such a substantial part of my life caused me to reflect on my life. Though miles apart from me, my mom taught me something that I still live by even today. Through her experiences, I learned to never take anything for granted. I learned to cherish everyday because tomorrow is never guaranteed. I began to realize the value all the wonderful people who surround me every day and that they wouldn't be able to look after me forever, no matter how much I wanted them to do so. All the things I love and hold dear in this world can be taken away within the blink of an eye.
Fortunately, my mom received a kidney with a successful transplant in November of last year. Though it caused much hardship, ultimately my mom's struggle with PKD was a blessing for me as it allowed me to truly develop into a man of character. The disease revealed to me the fragility of life and I now live my life with endless gratitude for every day that I spend on this Earth with the people whom I love and who love me.
I think you might want to develop more about how your mother's disease AFFECT you. I see a lots of description about your mother's disease but not much for your internal development... you might want to work with that.
Also, Admission Officer see a lot essay about ILLNESS, DISEASE.. you might want it to be more personal..
Other than that, I think it is a well written essay.
i understand that the Admission Officer see a lot essay about ILLNESS, DISEASE but what makes an essay a really good essay is but showing the reader how you developed as a person while going through the hard time.. how you became a more understanding person, a person who learned to work with hurt, pain, responsibilities, learned how to really love your mother when she was going through this. again this is an AMAZING essay but colleges want to know YOU and learn how YOU developed through these hard times.
overall i truly love it just make it more about you.
examples:
became responsible
became an open minded person
learned to be on time
learned to take care of your self and others
learned to be organized
learned to be loving and understanding
.... things like that... i know how you feel because i was there the whole time when my grandfather was dieing and these are some of the things i learned
AMAZING ESSAY!!!!!!! GOOD JOB
