Money has never been something my family has taken for granted. With my father working in Taiwan, he sends as much money to us as he can while keeping only a meager amount of his salary for his living expenses there. Due to my mother's immigration status and the language barrier she has yet to overcome, she has been forced to accept menial jobs to provide for my brothers and me. It is heartbreaking to see my parents working constantly to provide for us, but at the end of the month, there is little to no money left for my parents to spend on themselves. Growing up in this kind of financial situation, I have never resented my parents for not providing me toys that other kids had. Instead, I played outside and used the resources I had to have a good time. As I grew older, I traded designer clothing for simple hand me downs. I did not go to driving school nor did I get a car when I was sixteen. I never had extravagant birthday parties, and birthday or Christmas presents came once in a blue moon. My family never went on cruises during breaks. All of this did not matter to me though. I have a roof over my head, three hot meals a day to keep me healthy, and most of all, I have parents with loving, sacrificial hearts. Instead, I believe that these superficial things that I couldn't have taught me to not take things for granted and to have a giving heart. My parent's sacrificial heart this has made me stronger in that I am more determined than ever to get a good education and become successful so I can give back to them in return. I plan to give them a life that they could not have. I hope to provide for them like they have for me with such sacrificial hearts.
what is the prompt?
i think this essay makes you appear very humble, which is a positive thing!
Rather than focusing on what you have, you explain what you grew up without.
I would advise you vary your sentence beginnings more. Towards the end, i see repeated sentences beginning with "I" and "Instead, I"
There's no prompt. This is what it says:
Include any additional information that you would like to provide regarding special circumstances, additional qualifications, etc.
I just chose to write about my family's financial conditions.
Thanks for the suggestion!
Money has never been something my family has taken for granted. With my father working in Taiwan, he sends as much money to us as he can while keeping only a meager amount of his salary for his living expenses there. Due to my mother's immigration status and the language barrier she has yet to overcome, she has been forced to accept menial jobs to provide for my brothers and me. It is heartbreaking to see my parents working constantly to provide for us while at the end of the month, there is little to no money left for my parents to spend on themselves. Although I grew up in this kind of financial situation, I have never resented my parents for not providing me with the same toys that other kids had. Instead, I played outside and used the resources I had to have a good time. As I grew older, I traded designer clothing for simple hand me downs. Unlike many teenagers, I did not go to driving school nor did I get a car when I was sixteen. Instead of extravagant birthday parties, I celebrated by eating a small cake with my family. Birthday and Christmas presents came once in a blue moon, and my family definitely could not afford the luxury of going on cruises during breaks. All of this did not matter to me though. I have a roof over my head, three hot meals a day to keep me healthy, and most of all, I have parents with caring, sacrificial hearts. Instead, I believe that these superficial things that I couldn't obtain taught me to not take things for granted and to have a generous heart. My parent's sacrificial heart has made me stronger in that I am more determined than ever to get a good education and become successful so I can give back to them in return. I plan to give them a life that they could not have, and I hope to provide for them a comfortable life where they no longer have to worry about their financial troubles.
