I am not confident about my essay...there were many sentences that I even felt akward writing them...well...any comments you make would be very very helpful since my essay is really bad...thank you in advance!!! (do you think I didn't astray from the topic?)
There is a Quaker saying: "Let your life speak." Describe the environment in which you were raisedïyour family, home, neighborhood or communityïand how it influenced the person you are today.(200word limit)
My grandmother is from North Korea. When the Korean War broke up, she was separated from her family and was left with no choice but to come to South Korea.
"There were no more seats left on the train so people started to climb up on the roof. That train was the last one, which was heading south so I quickly joined the people on the roof." Whenever my grandmother vividly explained her coldest and toughest journey, I quietly listened and looked into the eyes that were filled with a deep sorrow. Then, I would stretch my arms to hug my grandmother's bony features to ensure that she was not alone and that I will do my best to replace her brother and sister.
I had lesser aunts, uncles, and cousins than those of my friends'. Sometimes, my friends pitied my father's absence of relatives. However, my family bond was very tight. Each member of the family strived to represent more than two family members. And, I feel the most blessed because of my family. My family taught me to think others first and to be always thankful.
I am, the happiest person in the world. (196words...what a relief that I at least didn't exceed the word limit..)
My family taught me to think about others first and to be always thankful.
try reforming this one too:
I had lesser aunts, uncles, and cousins than those of my friends'.
dats all from me!
gud luck
When the Korean War broke out, she was separated from her family and was left with no choice but to come to South Korea.
"There were no more seats left on the train so people started to climb up on the roof. That train was the last one that was heading south, so I quickly joined the people on the roof."
Whenever my grandmother vividly explained her coldest and toughest journey, I quietly listened and looked into eyes that were filled with a deep sorrow.
Then, I would stretch my arms out to hug my grandmother's bony features to ensure her that she was not alone and that I would do my best to replace her brother and sister.
I had fewer aunts, uncles, and cousins than those of my friends'.
Sometimes, my friends pitied my father's lack of relatives.
However, my family bond was very tight. Each member of the family strove to represent more than two family members.
I feel blessed because of my family. My family taught me to think others first, and to always be thankful.
I am the happiest person in the world.
I really like your ending!
:)
