I was trying to explain why my chosen topic is important, but I think I didn't talk enough about how it relates to me and why I chose it (see prompt). Please comment honestly; any thoughtful input is appreciated.
Also, for some reason the tabs weren't included when I pasted this so I have put in >'s to show where each paragraph begins.
So here is the prompt:
Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.
and the essay:
> The Cheilinus undulates is a rather large fish known mainly for its trademarked hump head, friendliness to scuba divers, and ridiculously large lips. It is hard to imagine how such a creature could be endangered; however, its lips are so amazing that the wrasse has become prone to overfishing, due to excessive culinary demand in Southeast Asia. Sadly, this destructive trend is one of many contributing to the ultimate obliteration of coral reefs around the world. Deforestation destroys habitats, while pollution leads to out-of-control algae blooms.
> So what?
> Biodiversity is essential for life. The Earth is an incredibly complex system that only functions properly through a balance of its parts. Remove a keystone species or import an invasive one, and the ecosystem may crash, sending far-reaching repercussions rippling out. Oceans do not magically take in our CO2; we rely on phytoplankton to absorb it. The plankton, in turn, depends on their environment to thrive. Seeing as we live on this planet, it is only logical to be aware of the devastation of the most biologically diverse places in the world.
> Billions of people are provided with food and income through coral reefs. The umbilical connection that the ocean has with society is one that cannot be cut, as the economic effect of reef systems on humans is enormous. Diversity is a major source of inspiration in medical research, while tourism and fishing provide many with livelihoods.
> I have always been fascinated by fish. Perhaps it is because of their rich 400+ million year history, or their stunning specialization. As an amateur ichthyologist, the extinction of the reefs is especially relevant.