What are your expectations, hobbies, and special interests?
What appeals to you about the major you are considering?
What are your goals and aspiration?
dream about a career in fashion
Many years ago, I was a first grader who loved drawing the sailor moon with her stunning costumes while other boys in the class were drawing robots. The seed that I was interested in garments was planted at that moment. During the student life, my attention was more focusing on drawing girl's clothes on my textbook than listening the lectures that teacher gave me in the class room. Besides drawing dresses, reading fashion magazines and blogs, knowing latest trends, browsing online shops of major brands and watching fashion shows on youtube became my hobbits.
I am always excited to do things that I have never done before to be out of my comfort zone, because the process of trying new things makes me experience different emotions where I get my inspirations from. For instance, first time living aboard away from family for a year, I created a series of traveling dresses; first time falling in love, I drew a wedding dress; first time losing someone in my life, I sketched a few only black outfits. I so enjoy experiencing feelings. I would say this is my special interest.
There is another out-of-comfort-zone decision I made that really changed my life. I threw away my 4 years major to pursue my true passion. After graduation, I was struggled for a few years about finding a career path that I want for my life. Until one day, I told my dad that I saw an advertisement about a summer course of basic sewing and patterning skills. Then he said, "you never really have passion in your current profession, why not you just take some time for yourself, and try to learn things that you have been interested in. It might lead you to a different road of your life." His words encouraged me to sigh that course up. The result was amazing. After that course, I found a job in a big athletic wear manufacturing company. I had so many opportunities to learn about the production side of garment industry. I was transferred between departments to understand the whole picture of how my company works. The experience and knowledge that I have learnt from this job are treasurable. I enjoy my job so much.

However, my expectation for my dream career path is to become a designer or to manage a brand. The manufacturing is just a segment of this industry. Things I can learn through my job are still limited. Therefore, I feel it is time for me moving to the next level by investing myself with education. In addition, I have been working with American sport brand so that I understand the importance of English. So I am also looking forward to improve my English in all aspects which is the reason I choose a fashion school in the USA.
As I mentioned what my expectation is, I think taking fashion design as a major would be a good way to achieve that. First of all, the foundation of being a designer or managing a brand is creativity. I believe that fashion design is the major that can help me arouse my creativity. Secondly, it will be advantageous for me to understand the process of design and to learn practical skills, such as computer aid design, patterning and draping techniques, in order to help me develop my own collection, widen my career path job in garment industry, and benefit this amazing opportunity that an investor gave me to manage design, development and production parts for a start-up yoga brand. Thirdly, drawing figures and sewing clothes make me happy and lead me to find my serenity which is a part of fulfilling my self actualization. Fourthly, having lectures from professors who have sophisticated experiences in the real world and working on school assignments with creative classmates are inspirational. Lastly, FIDM has strong connection with fashion brands and a helpful council center for students to look for an internship or a job. These resources could be good for my career. Not to mention I could also network within the student community and participate events that help me add more items in my portfolio or resume.
That boy who loved drawing sailor moon remembered his mother telling him that people doing things with passion would lead them to an unexpected route which might be even better than people could imagine. Hence, I, that boy, am now pursuing my true passion, fashion design, as my goal. Instead of a single achievement, my goal is a series of actions, starting from getting in a fashion school. Once I get accepted by a school, my goal will switch to participate activities as many as I can, such as school assignments, internship, and design competitions, to expend my ability. After graduation, working in a famous international brand in order to understand how a brand is being managed will be my goal and above leads me to fulfill my next aim which is launching my own brand. One achievement directs me to the another. The combination of all achievement is where my aspiration is. One day in the future, I want to make my brand world-wide famous and receive an award from prestigious designer association.
Finally, I hope my story and motivation I have shown to make the changes necessary in my life to achieve my dream in having a career in fashion with the experience I have gained will show that I would make a great candidate for FIDM.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Nai, the essay feels like it spins its wheels without going anywhere for the first few paragraphs. The direct responses to the questions don't actually kick in until the 5th paragraph. The whole essay actually avoids the first prompt question completely. You are going way too back in the past for your discussion. Don't start with the first grade. Go forward a bit, to high school. Keep the essay focused on responding to the prompt requirements only.
The essay is excessively long because of all the side stories that you have presented, which only serve to make the essay long, but not additionally informative. The only information that should be in this essay should be the direct responses to the questions being asked. So 3 questions = 3 paragraphs. No more than that. You may write a simple 5 paragraph essay just so you can properly open and conclude your presentation. It does not need to be this long because you don't have enough information in this to represent the 3 questions in a manner that the reviewer will be interested in reading.
The side stories constantly deviate the attention of the reader from the actual discussion points. You should avoid that so that the reviewer does not accidentally get bored to the point where he might find your response essay irrelevant. Try to write a more focused essay that clearly responds to the 3 questions. You can't lose when you simply state the facts, directly. The reviewer will appreciate that and will assure you that he will finish reading your essay presentation.
