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'My father in his uniform' - Apply Texas: someone who influenced your life.

andriannette 1 / 2  
Jan 22, 2013   #1
This is just my intro... in progress.

As we grow older, our once cherished childhood memories begin to fade, and all we are left with is our parents and our grandparents reminding us of how much of a handful we once were. Take my mother for instance, she'll never let me forget how I would always run up to a photo of my father in his marine uniform and gloat about how HE was my father. To make matters even worse, I wouldn't call him MY father unless he was wearing his uniform.

I can proudly admit that out of everyone that has made an impact in my life my father has to be, and continues to be, the most remarkable. I use his advice on day-to-day basis, and I wouldn't be who I was today without him.
Dgarp13 2 / 6 2  
Jan 22, 2013   #2
The transition from your first paragraph to the second is a bit awkward. Maybe include when and why you stopped referring to your dad as your dad only when he was in uniform. Also, is this detail important at all in regards to how he's made an impact in your life? Of course this is only the beginning so maybe you have yet to explain this..?

Add "a" between "on" and "day-to-day" and also change "who I was" into "who I am".

Good luck with finishing the rest of your essay. Make sure to focus on how he impacted YOU and not just on who he is or what he did to have an impact on you. :)

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