Hello all! So here's my essay!
Salam! My name is Fadi Saleh, pronounced "fatty." Laugh now. It's an Arabic name. I am 75% Palestinian, 25% Egyptian, and Muslim. I will have to say that my heritage, race, and religion all define me- they give me a place in life. I do not drink alcohol or eat pork. I fast in Ramadan, a holy month in the Muslim calendar, from dawn until dusk, so please think about that when your order a pizza in the afternoon! Oh, and I hope you like hummus-you'll be seeing that, along with olive oil and pita bread, occasionally.
I will not lie; I am a gaming addict. I play ping pong, ultimate Frisbee, volleyball, and XBOX 360. I hope you like talking as much as I do! I am very social, and I love to get out at any chance I can. I ponder a lot about philosophy, making connections with the seemingly most unconnectable subjects. However, sometimes I will be thinking about something so deeply that it will not make sense when it comes out. Brace yourself!
When you meet me next year, you will notice my certainty about college. I go to the Tennessee Governor's Academy, a residential school 400 miles away from home. I am used to the college life, and I know what to expect, so I can help you out with that.
I cannot wait to meet you next September and learn more about you. It should be a great year at Stanford University!
(249/250)
I don't really have much to say about this essay since it's just one of those essays.
I think that it's perfectly fine although nothing new or fancy. I find that half of the people who write this essay go about it in the same way you do.
so please think about that when your order a pizza in the afternoon!
^A little cheesy if you ask me.
When I wrote this essay last year I didn't know if it was a serious topic pretending to be lighthearted or something. I basically concluded that this topic is really not something that admissions will judge harshly on. I didn't get into Stanford though so that probably tells you how well I did on my essay haha. Anyway, I do think that you deliver well in the way that you choose to.
Thank you for your feedback. Yes, I typed this as a reaction essay first to see what I would type first. I agree about the cheesiness.
Anyone have any other opinions? Any sentiments, suggestions?
Thanks!
I agree with llamapoop123. I can hear your voice, yet there is nothing exciting or different about your letter to your roommate. While it is a letter to your roommate, it is also for admissions so maybe try to put something unique in it that will make you stand out.
I also don't think it is necessary to put where you go to school since the admissions will already see that in other parts of your application. Use that space for something else.
look at mine if you have time. I would love suggestions!
I think that it's perfectly fine although nothing new or fancy.
Well what about that very funny introduction? The whole essay has a great style.
^A little cheesy if you ask me.
haha is this a pizza-related pun?
However, sometimes I will be thinking about something so deeply that it will not make sense when it comes out. Brace yourself!
This is great because it expresses your contemplative nature but also stays humble by saying you might not make sense.
The ending is boring, though.
It would be good to mention your tentative career plan.
:-)
