I agreed with the first commentor that your ideas organization is rather unclear. The main idea about your interest in Kpop sort of "pop" out at the very end of the paragraph. If I read everything except the title or the last line, I would have no clue what you are trying to say. It would look like you're trying to mold this intro into a typical intro with a general and vague statement starting out then becoming narrower until it focuses on the subject which is fine. The problem arises with your general statements and when you're trying to narrow down the subject. Let me clear this up more:
Superjunior, T-ara, Chocolat, 2NE1, SHINEe, Sistar, and Younique might seem like odd names,
I understand what you're doing, but already I feel overwhelm by the number of different names. Try just picking three
My friends don't understand my tastes in music when I tell them about it, but nontheless I listen to it everyday, much to their annoyance anyway
Wait, is this trying to establish your a part of your personality which accounts in the fact that you like these bands, or it this about your individuality and the differences between you and your friends?
When I saw the vid for "Oppa, Oppa" by Eunhae, I was delighted to see their music video and dance along with them.
Wait, I thought we were talking about the Kpop, not Eunhae. Ok, so you like that music video and you dance to it, how does that establish a relationship between you and the Kpop?
That is one reason why I love kpop so much-its infectious positive music that makes you want cavort and dance around. ...
If this is your intro, is that your thesis? If it is, then you only have one reason why you love kpop so much? O.o
I am sorry if this offended to you in anyways, but these are just the things I noticed when I read your intro.
Hopes this help