My favorite word "Ambition" -UVA writing supplement
Ambition. The word itself is an example of every other individual's dream. Everyone follows an ambitious person. The word itself becomes your own dream, and forces you to become a risk-taker and futuristic person about every responsibility.
It's my responsibility to do something special with my life, and I will try to accomplish something special by achieving my ambition.
Ambition is defined as "to achieve something typically by hard-work and determination". Most people relate ambition to the concept of Passion vs. Obsession. Having a desire is not a sin. Yes, for many people their desire might be unrealistic, but trying not to achieve is unpleasant. Also passion for ambition is always superior over obsession. I have passion for my ambition. My ambition can be compared with technology, where people have desire to develop new inventions for better social benefits. This is exactly what my ambition is. Every step towards my dream may be full of failure, but every other failure gives me a new start. And with every other new start, my determination and working capability increases. With no ambition, a person may not define his life. I am proud that I have an ambition which I will achieve. If Charles Babbage, father of computer science, didn't have determination to complete his device, so-called computer at present, then I wouldn't have been able to type up this essay in my laptop.
To contribute society with a unique invention is my ambition. Even completing this essay and getting into a good college is my ambition. My present is my future; therefore ambition is my favorite word because it makes me futuristic and hard-working.
I would simply say that you're either a commander or just a normal comrade in the army.I would simply say that it is you who makes you a commander or just a normal soldier in the army.
The only way you can be a commander is if you take responsibility of your soldiers and also take care of them in ambitious way, so that even the decisions you make will not hurt them. So, my favorite word is ambition.
... well, that part really doesn't contribute much for ambition. :( .... Try to talk about something that goes more with ambition. Actually it is the ambition that motivates you, helps you face challenges and hardships and survive your dreams.
thanks for your help sir! :) i appreciate. Are there any other mistakes and how is the essay in overall?
I hope these opinions help, but I am a student and no professional.
I would probably start the essay with 'Ambition. I am ...' so it directly follows 'what is your favorite word and why' order. I also wonder whether it is right to say 'fate', since this is defined as something predetermined, you probably cannot do something special, only follow what fate has for you. Finally, when you say 'encourages me to be futuristic, ambitious and a risk-taker', what 'particular aspect' are you referring to? I would change ambitious to enthusiastic or some other synonym so you are not repeating ambitious to many times.
The general rule regarding college essays is that you write from your heart and you need to do a lot more "showing" and less "telling." It seems like this essay could use a little more show writing, which usually involves your thoughts towards your ambition (in this case) and imagery. Your idea is good, but you just need to show more.
Colleges don't care about dictionary definitions of words, as they already know them. They want to know your definition of the word, in your voice. You need to remember that YOU are the center of the essay, so try to cut down on referencing other people, and try to bring your own thoughts, with your own feelings into this essay.