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My favorite word and why? How has a work of science surprised me?

Rana2010 1 / -  
Dec 16, 2009   #1
1. The first prompt was: What was my favorite word and why.
2.The second prompt was: How has a work of science unsettled you or surprised you and in what way?

What "metamorphosis" means to some people may convey something totally different to others. In the context of "to make or become different"; moreover, "metamorphosis" is the most regarded word in my existence because the words and its meaning has such a colossal influence in my life every day. It is a word that constantly pushes me out my comfort zone and pushes me to my very best, for the most desirable of effects or unfortunate ones. Sometimes it is uncomfortable for me, because a metamorphosis in state affects my control over my outcomes, and thus I fight against adversity. I had not matured through crying, whining, worrying, retreating, or through mental breakdowns; but it was endurance that blossomed me into the young man I am. My metamorphosis is measured by my dissatisfaction of who I am, and who I will be, and it never rests, it always has launching points through time. Metamorphosis, in my world, can either make me or break me; I can either churn from it or learn from it, either for the better or for the worst. This is not just my favorite word, but it is significant word that describes the developing of my character and actions. Metamorphosis is like walking on a dark road for the first time-I can't see too much for a while, but once I do, I will realize that change from the light is nothing to be fearful of.

What scientists have proved in the past centuries in medical work, has astonished the media, the public, and even science itself. The first near-full face transplant has proved itself upon thousands of hours of medical breakthroughs and discoveries. This scientific work on the human body's appearance has surprised me in a beneficial manner, because of this work's amount of potential to help many people who have disfigured faces. This entire procedure on facial transplants has moved me morally and ethically. Not only can people with disfigured faces not have to be "judged by their cover" to an extent anymore, but facial transplants can offer a solution to it. Moreover, the science behind this near-full transplant has proved that the medical field is gaining ground; and it has enlightened me. Hundreds of years ago, there have been people that have disfigured their faces through war wounds, chemicals, and plain accidents, and they had been unable to do anything; to just live life without a face. However, now that doctors have enabled a new era of human revolution, things that were not able to be done to the human body, can be done presently. This medical work on humans has moved me in a way that has made me realize that through years of research and work, metamorphosis can be found in scientific history.

thecirclegame 2 / 7  
Dec 16, 2009   #2
I think you should link everything in your essay more strongly to the central idea to create more focus and unity. Also, make your thesis more obvious. I feel like I'm getting a bunch of images, but no clear reason of exactly WHY metamorphosis is your favourite word.

Lastly, try to stay away from cliches.
demuredelight 2 / 22  
Dec 16, 2009   #3
Hey, I think you can give an account of your metamorphosis. For example, how have you walked out from shyness to become a person of confidence.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,341 129  
Dec 19, 2009   #4
What "metamorphosis" means to some people may convey something totally different to others.

You did not say anything to support this statement. It is not necessary, not really relevant to the rest of the essay. I suggest using 2 paragraphs for each essay, and let each para be about one central idea concerning the subject.

For example, you might write a topic sentence about metamorphosis that says it is a word that puts pressure on you. Then, you'll need to explain what you mean by that. If you use paragraphs with good topic sentences, it will be good composition. If you don't it seems like a stream of consciousness rant, a list of sentences that come to mind. the good ting to do is identify your main idea and use this equation:

one idea = one para

The first near-full face transplant has proved itself after thousands of hours of medical breakthroughs and discoveries.

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