MICHAEL MIAO
4. Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.
COULD YOU PLEASE GIVE ME ANY ADVICE ON ANY PART YOU THINK THAT NEEDS TO BE IMPROVE OR CHNAGE。
:) thank you!
Until now, the three-week summer school is blurred in my memory, but the five-minute dreadful experience on the return flight is more than imprinted in my heart, as if it had happened only yesterday.
Our airplane encountered a violent storm. Besides thunder, I heard nothing but the pounding of my heart. Helplessness and panic flooded over me as to make all my senses lost. When the turbulence ceased, I reluctantly opened my eyes. A flight attendant walked towards me, wearing a calm smile.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"Oh, maybe I'm okay," I replied, trembling.
For the first time, I experienced true fear. I could not help pondering how the violent turbulence elicited such different reactions from the stewardess and me. Was she really not afraid? I felt a strong obligation to discover an answer.
Thinking back, I was not the only one frightened at that moment-that was an average feeling for most passengers-but I clearly remembered a little boy who soon recovered from the panic and ate snacks beside me. The strong contrast between us drove me to envy the boy's innocence and carefreeness, and I was determined to further study fear.
Inquisitive about the origin of my fear, I established the Flight Club in my school with several friends who took the same interest as I did. By not only reading books but also visiting professional websites like SkyVector, we gained a large amount of knowledge about aircrafts and flights. We downloaded simulated games of aviation, trained ourselves to pilot planes and exchanged our experience and skills. Afterwards on any flights with my club members, we even debated with each other about climbing angles of the airplane. I came to realize my panic was from the unknown and uncertainty of some principles: because I had insufficient knowledge, I could sense danger but could not make correct judgments, and that caused my panic. Once I was able to discover the deep reason behind the horrible phenomenon that turned a flight into a nightmare, I could release myself from panic. The Lack of knowledge and experience-these could be sources of fear.
Nevertheless, given that we have enough knowledge and experience, could we avoid all forms of fear? Of course not.
As a member of school choir, I often felt afraid to participate in concerts even though I had already mastered the songs. Did my voice sound weird? How did others think of me? I never stopped doubting. It seemed that there existed a strict supervisor warning me to care, and when I could not sing perfectly, that supervisor would blame me and frighten me.
Later, the music teacher, Ms. Korkosz, identified my problem. She encouraged me to attend various concerts she organized, and she told me, "Just be yourself. Don't care too much about others' opinions." And she was right. By performing in joyful concerts, I learned to relax and gradually discovered that my fear sometimes originated from specific traits: prudence and eagerness for perfection, which created stress, but, at the same time, urged me to be better.
It is not my ultimate conclusion that knowledge and practice are omnipotent solutions to panic since some kinds of panic are inherent. Someone innately fears a pet dog. Someone considers the ocean frightening since birth. However, as a door is closed, why not open a window? Why not think of fear from an alternative perspective? I am a cautious person who is destined to be fear's intimate partner. I do not consider fear an insurmountable challenge nor a signal tantamount to cowardice, but I regard it as a companion helping me avoid bad consequences resulting from recklessness. Although I cannot overcome fear all time, I feel it positively, despise it, and embrace it.
I now can face all fears, actively and bravely. Fear leads me to set foot on a journey of self-discovery and a new beginning.
Michael, it is in the best interest of your essay to use only one form of fear that you had to overcome. I believe that the better fear to present in this case is the one about flying. So that is the part of the essay that I concentrated on improving and finalizing for you.It is currently in a final format that you can use.
Until now, the three weeks that I spent in summer school seems to be a blur in my mind, but the five-minute dreadful experience of the return flight is more than imprinted in my heart, it is a scar on my heart that I wear proudly because of the outcome of that incident.
Our airplane encountered a violent storm. Besides the sound of thunder, I heard nothing but the pounding of my heart. Helplessness and panic flooded over me as I seemed to lose all my senses. When the turbulence ceased, I opened my eyes. A flight attendant walked towards me, wearing a calm smile.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"Oh, maybe... I think, I'm okay," I replied, trembling.
For the first time, I experienced true fear. I could not help but ponder about how the violent turbulence elicited such different reactions from the stewardess and me. Was she really not afraid? I felt a strong obligation to discover an answer.
Thinking back, I was not the only one frightened at that moment-that was an average feeling for most passengers-but I clearly remembered a little boy who soon recovered from the panic and ate snacks beside me. The strong contrast between us drove me to envy the boy's innocence and carefreeness, and I was determined to further study fear.
Inquisitive about the origin of my fear, I established the Flight Club in my school with several friends who had the same interest as I did. By not only reading books but also visiting professional websites like SkyVector, we gained a large amount of knowledge about aircrafts and flights. We downloaded simulated games of aviation, trained ourselves to pilot planes and exchanged our experience and skills. Afterwards on any flights with my club members, we even debated with each other about the climbing angles of the airplane.
I came to realize my panic was from the unknown and uncertainty of some principles: because I had insufficient knowledge, I could sense danger but could not make correct judgments, and that caused my panic. Once I was able to discover the deep reason behind the horrible phenomenon that turned a flight into a nightmare, I could finally release myself from panic. The lack of knowledge and experience- were the true sources of my fear. I now can face all fears, actively and bravely. Fear leads me to set foot on a journey of self-discovery and a new beginning.
It is not my ultimate conclusion that knowledgeis the omnipotent solution to panic since some kinds of panic are inherent. Someone innately fears a pet dog. Someone considers the ocean frightening since birth. However, as a door is closed, why not open a window? Why not think of fear from an alternative perspective? I am now a cautious person who is destined to be fear's intimate partner. I do not consider fear an insurmountable challenge nor a signal tantamount to cowardice, but I regard it as a companion helping me avoid bad consequences resulting from recklessness. Although I cannot overcome fear all time, I feel it positively, despise it, and embrace it.
I now can face all fears, actively and bravely. Fear leads me to set foot on a journey of self-discovery and a new beginning.
Thank you very much for your advice, I'll rectify it as what you suggested. But how can ever insert a new story that is more closed to flight, representing that sometimes fear could be caused by lack of experience, but not solely knowledge.
Michael, one way that you can insert the story about fear being caused by lack of experience but not solely knowledge is by telling another story about a flight that you took after you learned all about the elements of flight, turbulence, etc. Tell the reviewer about how different your approach to this flight was. Maybe describe a point during the trip when your plane once again experience turbulence and this time, you did not hear your heart beating louder than the sound outside the plane. Then explain why you believe that is so.
You can use a whole paragraph to explain this part if you are not faced with a maximum word count. Tell you what, you can take the essay above and then insert the story at the point where you think it best fits. Then post that new version here so I can have a look at it for you. I'll take care of making it work better with the original work. Do you think that will work for you?
All essays will take at least 3 revisions before you come up with your final version. So don't worry about it. I'll make sure to be by your side and helping you until you get the essay you want to submit :-)
