I will never feel lonely; Why Carleton ?

hello guys! i'm applying to Carleton now. Please help with my why essay!!! I feel hard to detect its grammatical errors or contextual coherency etc.. I'll help you back before long!!

Why are you interested in Carleton College? （250 word limit）
Carleton is the only liberal arts college that I apply to. Besides its close-knit student body and top teaching quality, Carleton steps further by offering abundant course choices and hands-on opportunities that I yearn for. Different from schools in big cities, it has an advanced emphasis on sustainability and close relationships with neighbors in Northfield. I believe that I would gain both the best liberal arts education and social engagement here.

My interest in economics started from my parents' electronic components wholesale shop, and was deepened when I could explained their perfectly competitive market with microeconomic modelings. I wish to explore the organization of firms and their social impact at Carleton.The three-term schedule grants me a strong focus on both entrepreneurship and other interdisciplinary areas such as behavioral economics and neuroscience. I became interested in the interrelation between social background and economy after visiting financial agencies in my Hong Kong internship, and the Seminar in Cambridge program seems the ideal opportunity to explore the contemporary British economy and examine theories in real-world applications.

Community is also an important part of me. The Lighten Up garage sale of ACT resonates with my passion for volunteerism, because I will contribute to the sustainable life in Northfield while also observe how local nonprofit agencies operate. Even far away from home, I will never feel lonely. I'm here to challenge with other aspirants, so why not fly a frisbee instead of basketball, and try a broomball game when the Bald Spot is covered with snow?

My interest in economics started from my parents' electronic components wholesale shop, and was deepened when I could explain their perfectly competitive market with microeconomic modelings.

No other grammar error.

Your essay is good. But I think you did not explain why this school fit you, I mean, you just descried Carleton college and your experience separately.

Maybe you should point out some specific programs which attract you.

Good luck!

Your essay does not really answer the question. You need to talk about what is it about Carleton that attracts you, and not just about yourself and your future plans. Of course, a little on these are fine and good, but the focus of your essay is on yourself, which is a no no. In this case, you realize that your second paragraph is not necessary at all. Do you understand what the meaning of liberal arts is? If you do, you shouldn't be talking about finance ONLY. Again, you need to let them know about why you chose Carleton College out of all the other liberal arts schools, and this is what your essay should be mainly about. You did not actually talk about this at all.

I do hope that your other materials are strong enough to get you in, considering your essay is quite weak. But who knows for sure, since other applicants may have even weaker essays.

Oh and you do not need to help me with my essay, I'm doing good. I just wanted to help others with their essays while I'm at a break.

All the best!