A bit stuck on what else to write about here, so any help would be greatly appreciated!
Essay #2 (Required for all applicants. 500 words maximum.)
Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests?
Since elementary school, I have been asked by teachers, friends, and family about what I want to be when I grow up. Now at seventeen years old and choosing a profession that I will be doing for the next fifty years is a scary assumption to make. To name a few, plans can change easily, conflicts can arise, and setbacks could keep me from progressing towards the career of my liking. Take my mindset from several years ago. At the time, I was determined to be a cardiac or neurosurgeon, but soon I realized the stress of being a surgeon may not be suited for me. Over the course of the next few years, I began visioning other possible fields that I could see myself in, such as a teacher lecturing about biology, an astronomer observing the night sky atop Mauna Kea, or even a musician on stage in front of hundreds.
To me, this realm of unknown and ever-changing plans is why the College of Literature, Science, and the Arts appeals to me so much. The name of the school itself lists three major fields, two of which I have great interest in which are music and science, thus offering a wider variety of career paths to branch of from. So in the event that a certain profession is not the one for me, I can turn to a different field without the worry of being unsatisfied about the career that I eventually end up choosing. Because I have a variety of plans that I still have yet to sort out, I am happy to say that I believe the University of Michigan's LS&A College is the school that will best help me in both the decision and educational process of my future career. From the Big House to Ann Arbor's fantastic city life, I felt most at home when on tour here and the very moment I set foot on this beautiful campus, I knew immediately that the University of Michigan's LS&A was the college that I wanted to attend.
Now at seventeen years old and choosing a profession that I will be doing for the next fifty years is a scary assumption to make.
... this sentence needs improvement. Cannot get your idea clearly :(
To name a few, plans can change easily, conflicts can arise, and setbacks could keep me from progressing towards the career of my liking. Take my mindset from several years ago
.... these lines are confusing the reader.... I think you need to attend to these few lines....better consider re-phrasing them
How does this sound? (in replace of the sentences you were confused about)
But now that I am seventeen years old and am about to go off to college, I realized that starting now, I will have to choose a career path that I will do for the rest of my life until I retire. To me, that's a terrifying proposition to make. Plans can change easily, conflicts can arise, and setbacks could keep me from progressing towards the career of my liking.
Hello,
The quality of the content of this essay is not good. This essay is specifically asking you to talk about what [unique] attributes of the school really appeals to you. While many applicants think that this question is really an open ended question, it is not, there is really a right answer. Why? Because if you pick any department at any school, the vast majority of them will have 2 or 3 aspects that are unique or considered to be unique about that program. Normally schools broadcast this on the department webpage. You need to find what is really unique about this college at U of Michigan and align it with your goals of obtaining a versatile degree. Once you add this and ditch the beautiful campus blurb, this essay will become much stronger. As you have it here, what you are looking for can be found pretty much at any university. -AAO
Hope this helps
....
If you are unsure what exact degree you want to do then go ask the school directly about being an irregular undeclared or open major student. I think they have liberal arts programs that allow that till you figure it out after a semester or two. That's my advice actually.
The essay does need a lot of work but I think it's because you're undecided..and that's ok. Most college freshmans are anyway or get lost when they do a semester of school thinking they knew...lol.
For the rest of my life until I retire is a little superfluous. Id say choose one or rephrase it. Also I think talk more about what exactly about you makes you like literature arts and sciences. Elaborate more on your interest in literature ats and the sciences. Then maybe elaborate more on the stuff you liked when you went on tour, what appealled to you most, even if it's something small. mention how you felt when you were there. Otherwise it's a good start!
