This is my last supplement as well as my one of my two top choices. Please be as critical as possible! This is only a first draft keep in mind.
Why Reed?
I have always been fascinated with finding connections between subjects that to the naked eye seem to originate from different ends of the spectrum. The process of finding these connections starts first with a deep understanding of the subjects individually. This collaborative experience, intellectually as well as socially, is what I want to get out of my college experience. Immediately my mind brought Reed to the forefront.
I remember checking that tiny box just for the sake of checking it. Oh Portland I thought to myself, why not? Eclectic, earthy, and small. This was all I knew about Portland. Little did i know a couple months later I would be sealing my own fate with this tiny little check. Sure I will have some more information, I thought to myself. I checked the box only to forget that little check until three months later, after a summer which sticks to my heart like glue. I remember opening the package, completely ignorant of what I had come across. I barely even looked at the brochure, too tired to read yet another college tragically advertising itself . Afraid to hear the typical: This school is for you! Come here! I was exhausted and maybe even a bit bitter.
It was not until later that evening that I decided I should give this school in Portland a chance. I cannot recall how I felt before I read the introductory letter or even during, but once I had finished the letter and saw Kristine Sawickis crisp black signature along with her humble yet completely honest voice, commenting on the uniqueness of Reed and its student body, I felt what it means to be enlightened. The letter described a community I have been looking for throughout this entire process. A community where Sartre is said in the same breath as Jimi Hendrix. A community where individuality is simply normal. A community where past judgements are buried.
The words: Reed is a place where students take their academics seriously without ever taking themselves seriously, still ring in my head. For once I had found a place where all you can be and all you are wanted to be is yourself, while enriching yourself academically, culturally, and intellectually as well. I knew Reed was the place for me because it found me when I barely knew what I was trying to find. Reed found me when I was lost, and for that I am grateful.
You clearly display your passion for Reed. A small liberal arts college, show them that it defines you!
Oh btw, do you think you could look over my essay for Johns Hopkins??
I really like your ideas in the essay. But I find some points that make the essay less interesting.
I'm sorry about my english. There are some places I do not understand what you wrote.
But here are the few things.
1/ I don't really like your first paragraph, the opening one. I don't understand these sentences. I also don't see the connection between it and the rest of your essays.
2/ Did you list all the details according to time? There are some places that i thought it was the end of the essay but it was not. Although the part after that was very interesting ( i really mean it. They were very interesting). But I feel like i was lost and got confused when there were more and more paragraphs.
The words: Reed is a place where students take their academics seriously without ever taking themselves too seriously, still ring in my head. For once I had found a place where all you can be and all you are wanted to be is yourself, while enriching yourself academically, culturally, and intellectually as well. I knew Reed was the place for me because it found me when I barely knew what I was trying to find. Reed found me when I was lost, and for that I am grateful.
i thought this would be the end of the essay. And if it was, then your essay will be nicer. But if you list your details through time, don't do this. I just really like this part of your essay and I thought it was the top of your feelings.
You do not need to use this part as the last part. You can change it into your open paragraph.
I do love your last sentence. So if you reorder the paragraphs, keep the last sentence.
This is great. I would cut back a bit on how you discovered Reed though.
I remember when my mother dragged me to my first college fair. The sea of unfamiliar faces standing behind foreign names of large universities stared back at me as I walked into the the conference hall. I was intimidated to say the least. I quickly grabbed the sheet of paper which listed the colleges attending the fair, with little boxes for the interested student to check off. I remember checking that tiny box just for the sake of checking it. Oh Portland, I thought to myself, why not. Eclectic, earthy, and small. This was all I knew about Portland.
Little did I know a couple months later I would be sealing my own fate with this tiny little check. Sure I will have some more information, I thought to myself. I checked the box only to forget that little check until three months later, after a summer which sticks to my heart like glue. I remember opening the package, completely ignorant of what I had come across. I barely even looked at the brochure, too tired to read yet another college tragically advertising themselves. I was afraid to hear the typical, "This school is for you!" I was exhausted and maybe even a bit bitter.
While this is a well written set of paragrpahs I feel that it isn'r really relevant to the prompt. You might want to edit a bit of this, focus more on why you want to go there, specific programs maybe?
Either way, well written, poignant and a great read.
Love this "At Discover Reed I discovered more than just a college. I found a community where Sartre is said in the same breath as Jimi Hendrix. A community where individuality is simply the norm. A community where past judgements are buried."
I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a look at my Why Reed essay if you have the time:
