Finding and defining "X" - UChicago supplement: Find x which essay should i work on

University of Chicago
Supplement essay: Find x

I suppose most people would begin their work to find x by defining x. I chose to begin by disregarding x completely. I am aware x can be a solution to an equation or the answer to a math problem. It can show where you are on a map or represent the place you are going in life metaphorically or realistically. X marks the location of treasure and its unspoken special quality that great memorable entities possess. X is a variable that can and will change, so I placed more emphasis on finding. I believe finding is the key, and a noble pursuit for the intellect and the spirit. I hope that my life's energy will always be in part devoted to finding. Whether it may be a drive to find the cure to new diseases or a new simpler way to complete tasks the journey toward this new knowledge is what I find fun and interesting. Finding is the source of all great advances. We dream, we look ,and we ultimately find.

We have all stopped at a map in the mall and looked for the "x" which marks your current position, or solved some algebra, or even went treasure hunting. Thus when I first thought of x I naturally swam through the topic of math and this equation stuck out to me. I am sure that you have heard of Heron's law; the equation where the area of a triangle can be found by knowing the three sides of the triangle and nothing else.  "A" is equal to the area of the triangle and "s" is equal to the sum of the three sides divided by 2. When I look back at my 16 years that I have lived, which seem longer than credits at the end of a movie, I relate the three sides of the triangle to three distinct aspects of my life. The three sides represent theater, sports, and my job as a translator, each of which contributes to find the area, which I define as X. I define the area of the triangle as X because the three portions of my life relate to each other to define who I am as a person.

Interesting ideas, but almost no flow between them. The first paragraph talks about how x is indefinable, the second contradicts that.
You talk about yourself to superficially, talk about how each of the 'sides' of the triangle contribute to the area.

I think the essay needs a lot more work, a more thorough grammar check, and some real thought on what you want to say. You want a realistic, personal essay or an abstract intellectually appealing essay? Think about it, but make it clear that you have to pick one or the other.

And sorry for the length of this:)

Good luck!

thank you very much for the edit!
will go back and edit for sure