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"Finding the Truth" - Georgetown Supplement help?


amespeed 3 / 7  
Jan 9, 2012   #1
Hey, I was wondering if I could get any sort of feedback on this essay. Is it too personal? Does it divulge too much about my friend? Does it fit the prompt well enough, even though it's not mostly about me but more about my thoughts? (Grammar and flow advice is of course welcome too!!) Thanks in advance!

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(A) Please submit a brief essay, either personal or creative, which you feel best describes you.

In my muddling through life, I always look for the truth. I want to find what truth is, what it means, and how it can be so subjective and so illusive. In my writing, I attempt to express truth. Heck, in this very essay I'm attempting to convey my true personality as clearly and brightly as possible to whomever may be reading. It's difficult. Being completely and totally honest is not something that comes naturally to humans, I think. We wade through hundred and hundreds of other people every day, but how often do we truthfully interact with another human being? I believe that finding the honest truths in my own life might help me to realize how great my life can be.

A few months ago, I met a friend in the hall that I'd only seen in passing for a few weeks. I asked her to lunch and merrily walked off with her, anxious to catch up. By the end on the lunch period, I had learned that she had been kicked out of her parents house, she had moved in with her boyfriend, and she was concerned about her health due to the resurgence of an eating disorder. Before lunch, seeing her laughing and smiling, I would never have ventured to guess that my friend had gone through such hardships. But before lunch that day, had I really known the truth? Yes, I'd been friends with her for years and spent countless hours chatting and laughing and smiling with her. But without the honesty of face to face interactions, I'd lost her. I'd lost the truth in her life, and even I, a close friend, was fooled by her facade of contentment.

When we lose the truth, we lose what makes us human. It doesn't take much to lie to the world; when someone asks "How's your day?" and you reply, "Just fine, thanks!" you don't really mean it. You mean, "It started out great, but then I fell and spilled my coffee all over myself, and I was late to class, so I was lectured about punctuality, and now I'm in a terrible mood." But we never say that. The risk of exposing ourselves to the truth is something that people just aren't that good at anymore, and that's one of the reasons I love theatre so much. It gives people the opportunity to experience life condensed; theatre takes real life and somehow makes it even more real, more truthful. According to my drama teacher, the actor's job is to "live truthfully under the given circumstances of a play." Maybe we should all live more truthfully under the given circumstances of our lives. I know I try to, each and every day.
twizzlestraw 12 / 95  
Jan 9, 2012   #2
The main problem I have with your essay is that you do not define truth. You kind of make the definition of truth a mystery in the introduction, but then the examples you provide are so specific that you really need a definition. The other thing is throwing in theatre at the end of your essay came off as random and distracting from your overall message. If you're going to talk about theatre mention it in your introduction, otherwise, I would take it out all together. Overall, I like the topic, but it could be more powerful.

PLEASEEE help me with mine? :)
tgupta16 1 / 2  
Jan 10, 2012   #3
It's a nicely put essay. But what I find odd is that as a reader I do not see how does this essay describe you or tell us about the person you are. The thought is very original and nice but the essay shows confusion of mind and leaves the reader with a vague impression. Try making sructural changes to make the essay tighter.

Good work overall. Am applying to Georgetown too. Good Luck !!!


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