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'finish my studies to help my parents' - WHY DO I DESERVE TO BE A SCHOLAR?


haruhi fuu 1 / 1  
Apr 14, 2012   #1
Please .. Please .. Please.. Help me with this .. I'm not good in writing essays .. i don't think if this is an essay,, so please... ! *_*.. edit my grammar.. and give your opinions straight

Almost all of the youth who graduated from high school have each dream to go to college and finish any course which they want, and I am one of them. Since childhood it was already my dream of becoming one of those individual whoa re successful in their own chosen career.

Last December 2011, while everybody is enjoying and celebrating the Christmas Season my mother was brought to the hospital because of breast pain. December 21, 2011 my mother undergo a breast operation. It was a very sad and painful thing that happened in our family. We celebrated Christmas with her who still recovering from pain. On the sixth day of January this year when the result of the biopsy of my mother came out, unfortunately it's a bad news it was found out to be positive of breast cancer. I cry hard when I've known it but my father told me that I must be tough and learn to accept it for it is the will of God.

One day my father went home bringing with him a copy of an Official Publication, the January 2012 issue. He showed to me the one article, we read it and he told me that this is the only way you can go to college. Because of what happened to my mother which is sick right now, I may not be able to pursue my college education. I thank God because I am one of the daughter of your companies regular employee and has a privilege to avail the Scholarship for University Student.

Because of financial problem my father has to priorities our needs. He's number one priority of course is the medication of my mother next is for foods and then our daily needs, he will less prioritize my studies. But I really want to finish my studies in order to help my parents. That's why with my good records in school and abilities to balance academics to extracurricular activities I believe that I deserve to be a GBF Scholar

this is just a part of my essay.. thank you..! :-*

giorgio186 9 / 54  
Apr 14, 2012   #2
Try to write more about your qualities. Give some real reasons why you think that you would be a good scholar. Sorry for not correcting your grammar, but I am not a native speaker, and I don't want to risk making some more. Hope this helps.


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