I had finished the first episode of my life; SOP

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

A sense of culmination reverberated throughout my body as I had finished the first episode of my life, and now a path of enlightenment and mystery awaited me as I embarked on the next. My first chapter commenced when I joined The Lawrence School, Sanawar, one of the top ranked boarding schools in India. As I completed six years of education from Grades V to X, my interest in computers developed. The school motto 'Never Give In' became one of my authentic principles of life and stayed with me as I went on to join Delhi Public School, R.K. Puram, ranked first in academics across India. Being fascinated about the progression in computer program language, I often recall the moments when l used to ponder about the transformation of computer science through its evolution from that of a room sized computer to a pocket sized Smartphone. Computer science is like a maze to me, the deeper you go into it, the more it enamours you.

Sciences and mathematics have been my passion and I am proud to say that I have consistently performed well in both these subjects. I secured a CGPA (Cumulative Grade Point Average) of 10 in all subjects in Grade X. I received an international ranking of 191 in the International Mathematics Olympiad (lMO) 2011 and qualified for the second round. I was awarded the Scholar tie at Lawrence School, Sanawar, for excellence in academics for six consecutive years and the Scholar Badge at DPS R. K. Puram for two consecutive years. I am also an active athlete and was made the class captain of the basketball team at DPS R.K. Puram. In addition, I was the house captain of the swimming team at Sanawar where I was a multiple medal winner at the inter-school annual aquatic meet in 2010. I also participated in a life saving swimming skills programme by Rashtriya Life Saving Society (India) in 2011. I have also been an enthusiastic environmentalist and social worker. At age 12 I was designated 'Junior Ranger' by Odyssey World Travel to promote the mission of protecting and preserving our planet following my participation in a nature, adventure and environment camp. Finally I have been a regular volunteer at a well-known Delhi NGO, the Cheshire Home for Spastic Children.

As I progress through the next episode of my life, I know that my insatiable desire to learn will be kept alive through my university studies. Just as a C++ program takes several steps to finally execute, I too have taken on the challenge to reach my final goal of becoming a computer scientist. Computer science demands thinking intuitively and beyond usual limits but my affinity for computer science is not only as a subject but also for its social function. I want to use advances in scientific knowledge to meet the needs of the society.

In order to fulfill my long term goal, it is vital to have access to the resources and an indispensable foundation offered by a UK university. Studying in the UK will not only improve my technical skills but also my personal and social skills. I will have a good chance to interact with people from all over the world. Apart from this, the education system in the UK is unique as it not only concentrates on factual knowledge but also focuses on practical applications. It will also give me the opportunity to tackle real life projects through internships, thereby building my work experience. I believe that UK's strength has always been in innovation. For that reason, The UK engineering and computer industry has always been funded and pushed to innovate and adapt to challenges. Many innovations can be traced back to British computer scientists like Alan Turing who was highly influential in the field of computer science. I hope one day I make my own lasting contribution to the field. As they say, "A doctor saves one life at a time, but a computer scientist can design work that saves a whole society".

enlightenment and mystery awaitedawaits me...

Gg rades V to X or rather use the fourth to the tenth grade,...

pocket sized Ss martphone.

Sciences and mathematics have been my passion...

life-saving swimming skills..

HOW is the rest apart from these changes?

Someone please help and guide me if it is alrite????

I feel that you have the writing skills required to craft a spectacular essay. However, you need to focus on showing more than telling. As of now, your essay is more of a list of achievements. Content like this belongs in a resume, not an essay. An essay should show traits or characteristics. Think about how many fellow students you know that have the same academic achievements as you. What sets you apart? Do you have a particular goal in life that you can achieve by using education in the UK as a stepping stone? While it is okay to mention achievements, the bulk of your essay should discuss an overall life plan you have whose success is facilitated by an extensive amount of computer science knowledge.

I love the quote you mentioned at the end of your essay; however, I think it would work better as an introduction. After mentioning the quote, discuss your plan for saving society. Provide examples that prove you have what it takes to achieve your goals (personality traits). Show how you will use the education that you will receive if accepted in order to facilitate your plan to help society with your computer science skills.

Essentially, you need to shift your essay from a list of accomplishments to a great plan that happens to include education your university of choice. While a university can easily deny the application of an intelligent individual, it is much harder (if not impossible) to deny the application of an intelligent, motivated individual who has one-of-a-kind goals and aspirations.

Instead of stating the completion of your first episode of life, say that you have completed the first part of some sort of master plan.

Set yourself apart from the crowd. I know you can do it.

Here are a few minor changes that I think could improve upon the existing content you have, provided you include it within the next revision of your essay.


Remove "ranked first in academics across India". The fact that you came from a superior school is irrelevant to you as a person. While the transformation of computer size is fascinating, it seems as if you are attributing the change in size to a change in the programming language. The change in computer size is due to hardware, not computer code. Rephrase this a bit, and if it works well in a revised essay utilizing my advice above, feel free to implement it.

Solid essay so far. Just remember that there are so many aspiring computer scientists who have the exact same academic record as you do. In such a highly competitive atmosphere, you need to set yourself apart from the crowd by including information relevant to life as a whole rather than just the narrow realm of academia and how it is so interesting to you.

Good luck! I'm excited to see how the final copy of your essay turns out, so if you revise it, please post it again.