Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate -- and us -- know you better.
I hope he likes me; first-impressions are important. I consider myself amiable; I've never lost a friendship over an argument or disliked anyone deeply. I guess that's because I'm a patient guy, and I pride myself in that.
I am sure our study habits will be slightly different. I prefer to study for long periods of time, and if my studying carries on past midnight I'll step out to not disturb his sleep. I value my sleep a lot so I have to let him know that he'll never find me asleep randomly throughout the day. I like to think I have what I call a "systematic sleep," and strive to sleep the same amount of time each day.
He needs to know I'm close to my family and my catholic religion. Hopefully he won't mind me having portraits of my family on my bedside. I am the youngest of four brothers, and the first to attend college so I think he'll understand that I'll miss them. Similarly, I'm close to my religion so I've always had small altars near my bed to pray to before bed. I think he'll be tolerant of this, just as I will be of his religious upbringing.
I'm not sure if he's an athlete or not, but I have to inform him of my morning runs; little else helps me clarify my emotions like a tempo run. He should know my running gear will always be in its proper place to avoid disorder in our room and prevent any stench of sweat from penetrating our room. I hope he is as big on clean laundry as I am.
Introvert; that's the word I was looking for. He needs to know I am an introvert, but not antisocial; I'm all up for going out on weekend nights. Think. What else should I tell him? I think I covered everything - someone's knocking, it's probably him. It's cool; we'll probably become good friends.
Thanks for the feedback =]
I like the first sentence a lot, but I hope you get inspired to write an awesome introductory sentence right before it... a sentence to set the mood for the essay. I think the mood is "thoughtful."
I consider myself amiable; I've never lost a friendship over an argument or disliked anyone deeply.
This is great, it really makes the reader like you, your personality.
I think the ending totally doesn't work... try something different! And it should be a little more formal. Don't say "Yeah," because some readers might think it is too informal. Some readers are too formal!!
It will be better if you tell a little more about your intellectual interests. What do you want to become an expert at, and what work do you want to do. Even if you are not sure, pick something intellectual to be passionate about.
It is good that you know you are an introvert, but go deeper, and tell about the professional person you are becoming.
okay, thanks. I'll see how I can fit my goals into the essay.
I think you should definately change the ending, it is too simple like the person above me said.
You should speak more about some of your likes and sleeping arrangements, such as do you sleep with the ligh on, do you prefer the fan or air conditioning.
Also, you should talk a little about what you are studying and your career goals.
Your essay is great. I love it, but I actually missed the "doors open" part in your revised essay. I'm not an expert at all, but in my opinion I actually liked the "Hey, what's up" part. It seemed very honest in my opinion. Also, it made me wonder how your meeting with your roommate would go, but even without it, I think it's a great essay.
