I first learntlearned about Smith College on the internet over a year ago, and I was not interested in applying to a women's college. However, after some more researchhaving researched more into Smith's rigorous study programs and its multicultural learning environment, I have changed my mind. Since my goal is to become a teacher, it is important to master the knowledge for a subject and be well rounded at the same timebeing knowledgeable in one subject and also having a broad knowledge are important . I believe the educational experience at Smith would sharpen my critical thinking ability and develop my professional skills. Aside from the advanced resources and dedicated faculties, the extensive collection of literature and arts would help to enrich my bustling academic life.
You need to rewrite the part about the "women's college." Don't simply say "I was not interested." Say something like you were surprised or taken aback. Also, you need to either 1) take out that whole negative comment about it being all women college or 2) mention somewhere that the pros outweigh it being all women.
I didn't think that sentence about you wanting to be teacher and needed to master one subject and be well rounded was necessary. And as for an educator's "professional skills," you won't get any at Smith College so that doesn't make sense either unless they have classes to teach you how to teach (which might be possible seeing I'm not too knowledgeable on the road to teaching).
Overall, it's weak.
