My first microscope - University of Illinois at Chicago admission essay

the biological science is my path to explore

Please provide an essay that explains why you chose your intended program of study. What interests you the most about this major? If Undecided, what areas of study do you look forward to studying in college? (50-500 words)

I was only 10 years old when my dad got me my first microscope... a device that soon changed my life. The microscope opened up a whole new perspective of the world around me. Every day brought about new discoveries and adventures as I would look for new objects to examine. I could recall my excitement as my dad and I would walk down to a nearby pond and collect samples of pond water, grass, leaves, and virtually anything in sight. My astonishment the first time I saw living cells was something I could never forget. Who knew there were such small living creatures right under our noses? The microscope opened up a whole new world for me, a world beyond our eyes. I was hooked, biological science was the path I knew I wanted to explore.

Ever since childhood, I've been introduced to the science of living organisms. My dad is a doctor, a neurologist, and growing up with a doctor as a father only spurred my interest even further. I used to ask all sorts of questions relating all the way from cells to human anatomy to my dad, and he would always take time out of his day to answer my questions. I could always expect my dad to satisfy my curiosity. By middle school, we had started to dissect frogs in my seventh-grade biology class. It was my first experience looking up close with the organs and functions of a living creature. The complexity and interconnectedness of all the systems in the body always fascinated me. The way all the systems interact with one another to keep the body in homeostasis, the evolutionary adaptations of the frogs, and the anatomy/physiology of all the organs and tissues; all of it captivated me.

During my sophomore year in high school, I began to work at my dad's clinic. Initially, I was just at the front desk helping people check in along with another receptionist. After a few weeks of working at the front, I began to observe my dad interact with patients and perform different tests and checkups. I eventually got around to even helping perform some physicals to other people (granted I got help from my dad). The experience of working in my dad's clinic helped me decide my career goal, to become a doctor.

The science of biology is always advancing and making new discoveries with the help of more advanced technology. The science of biology is the very essence of all living creatures. It's a field of study making us more aware of not only us but the world around us as well. Fast-forward to my senior year of high school, here I am, sitting in my anatomy class studying histology through a microscope, looking at different tissues. A journey which started with the microscope continues seven years later, and I still feel just as excited and curious as the ten years old me. I realize, my journey of biology has only just begun.

I know my writing skills are very basic and aren't complex. I hope to get help on word choice and ways to structure my suntences in more complex, and meaningful ways. Feel free to also point out any grammar/punctuation mistakes. I'm open to all suggestions :)

Hamza, the focus of your essay is supposed to be Biological Science right? I take it that you are taking this as a pre-med course? A preliminary study leading to you taking the MCAT and eventually attending medical school so you can become a doctor right? After all, your dad is a neurologist. So your essay should be clear about that. Take the stance that Biological Science is your stepping stone towards your actual ambition of becoming a doctor. At the moment, your essay diverts in ambition paths when you start to talk about working in your father's clinic. The best thing for you to do is to reconnect the two by creating a connecting paragraph that would introduce the fact that you are looking to enter pre-med as a part of the studies for your actual ambition which is to become a doctor like your dad. Once you connect the two interests, the essay will have a more cohesive presentation that better explains the reasons for your interest in Biological Sciences. You are not undecided, you are very clear about your academic path in relation to your professional ambition. You just need to create a better connection between the two related fields of study.