the First Responder team, Tell us something about you

"Beep, beep, beep!" The sound of my pager ripped through the silence in the classroom. My classmates all looked at me with anticipation. I exchanged glances with my teacher, who knew that I was needed elsewhere and nodded as I rushed to respond to an urgent medical issue at my school.

I am the President of the First Responder team at Delta Secondary School. This student-run team was created to be the initial response to any medical issue in the school. As a president, I am very confident on my leadership skills, organization skills, public speaking skills and first aid skills.

In my senior years, grade 11 and grade 12, I took a special interest in helping to train sixteen of my classmates in first aid. It has been very rewarding to see them develop the skills and knowledge base to confidently handle acute situations. Experiences such as this have served as the spark for my ongoing interest in medical care and have fueled my desire to continue learning.

I have appreciated how much my training has been enhanced by the curiosity and enthusiasm of my classmates and instructors. Their trust have build confident within me. That is why first responder have being the greatest influence in shaping my self-identy.

In conclusion, I have been humbled with the responsibilities I have been entrusted with at my school, and my experiences have stimulated a continued desire to learn and to contribute to my community. I have been grateful for the challenge to be a leader among my peers, and I like to bring similar leadership qualities into the Queen's University.

i like it !!
hahaha
but here are some suggestions :
1. change "the Queen's University" to just "Queen's University"?
2. you wrote about bringing leadership qualities into Queens....so what ? what do you plan to do with these qualities? start a club at Queens? become the leader of a larger group ?

overall, i think your approach is unique :)

The sound of my pager ripped through the silence in the classroom
-silence "of" the classroom

This student-run team was created
-"student-led"

-i am very confident "in" my leadership skills

you don't need "in my senior years"
because its not necessary and the queens people probably know what you are talking about

That is why first responder have being the greatest influence in shaping my self-identy.

-this is why first responder "has been"