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'My first semester in college' - Short intro to admissions essay


welc2774 3 / 5  
Aug 28, 2012   #1
Issue of importance intro.

My first semester of college, I remember talking to my mom about her own college education and career. I learned that after almost three years of higher education she just simply gave up and dropped out. Puzzled why she would drop out just a year before completion I asked simply, why? She told me that her thirst to work was more than her desire to get her degree. As she explains her mistake made over two decades ago, I can see the regret in her face. Although she has had the same job for 22 years, recently before our conversation she had been demoted and replaced with someone with a degree. This taught me the importance of not only going to college but more importantly about completing college.
whoami 2 / 4  
Aug 28, 2012   #2
Manday,
you have started with a good topic for the essay.Your introduction is good.Think carefully on how u are going to continue you essay and make it coherent.Continue with your essay and do post the complete one.
bianca200994 - / 2  
Aug 29, 2012   #3
nice essay but i have to see the rest before i can make my final judgement or correction
but so far so good
elizabethva 1 / 1  
Aug 30, 2012   #4
I suggest this last sentence: This taught me the importance of not only going to college but also about completing college, which is very important.


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