Hello Everyone,
I would really appreciate some feedback/comments on this essay for Brown!
Tell us about an intellectual experience, project, class, or book that has influenced or inspired you. (500 words)
When I took my first step into the law firm, I was instantly overwhelmed. Lawyers bustled back and forth with huge piles of legal briefs, secretaries charged with purpose, and the incessant sound of copy machines hovered in the air. I walked up to one of the few stationary secretaries and told her that I had an appointment with Mr. Gruenberg. I sat down, waited a couple of minutes, and was then given the okay to walk into his office. I walked in and waited patiently. After a few moments he finally said, "So you want to intern in our firm?" I mustered up whatever courage I had and responded "Yes sir, I definitely do." After a little more subtle convincing, I was given the internship: three weeks at Coolidge Wall LLC.
Almost instantaneously, I was thrown into the fray. It didn't take me long, however, to realize that my lack of a law degree or any experience in a firm put me at a huge disadvantage. In other words, I had a lot of catching up to do. Extensive time at the library eventually revealed information on how to conduct legal research, memo drafting, and a whole list of other functions that I was expected to perform. Although I wasn't exactly a trained professional, I was determined to be successful and show them what I was capable of. The first couple of days were filled with an exciting frenzy of activity. Whether it was looking up case examples to devise an argument for a lawyer or drafting memos of information on different cases, I was constantly being given different puzzles to solve. The law library soon became my second home with Ohio State Penal Codes becoming as familiar as my collection of novels. Never in my life had I encountered such a variety of challenges as I did in my time at the internship.
After three strenuous and exhilarating weeks, I successfully completed my internship. Over the span of just three weeks, I had learned a host of new skills and developed a completely new perspective towards the field of law. My time at the firm, although demanding, was in many ways the most intellectually stimulating experience I have had in that it required me to think creatively and engineer solutions to a variety of problems. It was incredible to be surrounded by lawyers that performed such complicated work on a day to day basis and it was truly exciting to be immersed in the profession. My experience has also made it incredibly clear that I want to work with the law in some fashion and that I hope to further my understanding of the fascinating world of legal systems and how they connect to our government and society as a whole.
You are obviously a great writer, but this essay needs more impact.
You did this and that, you worked hard, you were with a bunch of lawyers. These are all general things that I cannot specifically relate to you.
Instead, provide specific episodes of what happened at the internship. Relate that to how that has inspired you. Once you do that, this will be an awesome essay.
Would you be willing to read my Brown supplement essay? Thanks.
