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My very first Youth and Government meeting - Common App Essay 250+


cavemenrppl2 1 / -  
Oct 30, 2008   #1
Evaluate a significant experience

Brushing the dust off my tucked-in blouse, I looked out at roughly three hundred of the brightest sophomores in California. I took a deep breath, trying to remember why I decided to run for a state-wide office in the first place. I felt out of place, standing there in the middle of an army base, wearing full-on business attire, and giving a speech to complete strangers as to why I would be the best Speaker of the Assembly. What made me more qualified than any of the other candidates? I had a limited knowledge of current events and absolutely no experience in politics. In fact, just two months earlier, I attended my very first Youth and Government meeting.

The Youth and Government flyers around the school portrayed a wonderful opportunity to "join more than two thousand students as they take over the government of California, learning leadership skills and gaining hands-on experience in the workings of state government." Always a strong supporter of world awareness, I constantly sought such opportunities to improve my knowledge of the world and current affairs. The Youth and Government program seemed like the perfect means to my personal political enlightenment. Little did I know, my participation in Y&G would profoundly change my life.

As I sat in on the first meeting, I remember being in awe as I witnessed the passion, confidence, and intelligence of all the sixty delegates around me. Following perfect Parliamentary procedure, students proposed new laws, debated, and defended their opinions eloquently and succinctly. I wondered how they, only high school students, could possibly know so much about world issues and have such developed political views.

Over the next three years, I did everything in my power to emulate those delegates I had so admired. Adhering to the advice 'the program is what you make of it', I seized every opportunity to expose myself to new ideas, beliefs, issues, and current events. I remember the moment I realized that Y&G was not just a forum to update myself on the interworking of the government, but a huge part of my life. During the first cluster meeting, as I was campaigning to neighboring high schools, I got into a debate with another delegate concerning the Patriot Act. While the opposition provided valid ideas, I counteracted almost every point with one of my own. Typically, when delegates are set on an idea, it is extremely unlikely for anyone to convince them to change their view on the subject. However, after minutes of discussing the Act, the other delegates agreed that I was right. It was at this moment that I began to further foster a passion for debate and politics. I absolutely loved being able to support my point using valid facts and government statistics. Preparing for question and answer sessions during my campaign also led me to research numerous political issues. As I read through various issues, I began to develop my own personal values and beliefs. When I learned more about issues like same-sex marriage and equal pay for equal work, I had an epiphany: although I am young, laws still have a great effect on me and my future. I began to take and pursue these issues seriously; I wrote bills to amend the constitution to allow civil unions between two people, therefore guaranteeing all couples equal rights from the government.

Youth and Government has changed my life. Not only have I learned about politics, but I have also lived them. I have transformed from a student who only knew the name of the President to someone who truly cares about politics and how others' actions affect my life. Through the program, I have found my passion and my voice. I am now an activist, confident in myself and of the change I look forward to making in the future.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Oct 30, 2008   #2
Good afternoon.

Just a few mechanical suggestions.

First, when "referring" to something, make sure you are using double (") quotation marks instead of single (') ones.

Second, make sure your punctuation is enclosed inside of those quotation marks. For example, "...something." rather than "...something".

Other than that, this looks like a very clean, well organized essay. Nice work!

Best of luck.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com


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