Hello I wanted to see if someone could help me with my essay for my FIT application. Just tips or what I should takeout, expound on.
Any help is greatly appreciated :) Thank You
Fashion Merchandising Management
What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are you interested in the major you are applying to? The essay is also your chance to tell us more about your experiences, activities and accomplishments.
I can't think back to a time where I didn't love fashion. I loved to be enthralled in every aspect, at every chance I could get , so much so that a career in fashion seemed to be what I was destined to have. I can remember in my pre-teen days where my mom would give my sister and I allowances and every weekend practically she would drop me, my sister and some friends of ours off to the mall to maybe catch a movie and grab a bite to eat. Once we would be dropped off I sometimes ditched my sister and friends to go the various shops in the plaza. I would use my money to buy items that I considered to be precious gems that I knew I could use to possibly sell to my friends at school since some didn't have the means to get them. I already knew my friends liked anything that I would bring to school since they regularly would "ooo & ahh" over my duds when I would come to school. They trusted my opinion and looked up to my good taste in fashion. So from there I begin to purchase and sell items to friends. Even though I really didn't know about profit & loss at that young age, it really gave me great pleasure to find great deals, awesome finds that I could share with my demographic.
As I became older and graduated from High school I was not able to venture off and go to school for my dream profession. Due to some personal set backs & financial hardships within the family it became a challenge for me to really give this dream of mine a solid foundation to build off from.
I maintained two steady full time jobs doing what I knew was ok for the time being, but not really fulfilling to me. Unfortunately not until the most worst job market crisis seen of my generation happened I soon found myself a casualty of two layoffs. I believe in signs, so one day I was talking to a friend of mine and she was asking about my future plans, my dreams. I then realized I had pushed those aside to help out my family. I was always miserable at both of those jobs, there's a saying that says "a job isn't a job if its something you love doing". So I begin to research the top fashion schools that would provide me with a degree to become a Fashion Buyer and I came across FIT.
FIT has the best Fashion Merchandising Management program out there. I think this would be a great place for me to get my degree doing something I loved just doing as a child. I am someone FIT can help provide all the things their mission states that there is to offer to a student of FIT. The Fashion Institute of Technology is a place where I can only get the best industry experience, educational experience, growth and self development. I would be very grateful to learn from such outstanding leaders who can give me insight as how to survive and thrive in this desired field. I want to go on and do great things and I believe that with FIT behind me I can do them all. I want to work as a buyer for Sephora and maybe even own and run my own boutique.
I wish that you would please review me and see that I am a fantastic candidate for placement at your school. I am willing to work hard, persevere challenge my self and abilities. I would be beyond humbly honored to even be considered as a student there at FIT. I hope to hear from you soon.
good! the only thing is try to come up with other ways of wording this without using so many I's
Thank you so much for your feedback :)
Any other feedback is still appreciated and well welcomed
I loved to be enthralled in every aspect, at every chance I could get , so much so that
This right here is a lot of fluff... too much fluff for the introduction.
Okay, the first paragraph is all about little kid stuff, and the second paragraph just informs them of your decision to pursue fashion. My purpose here is to tell you this can be more powerful if you go a little deeper into your introspection... for example...
What does fashion have to do with the collective consciousness of humanity?
What significance does fashion have as a cultural characteristic?
Write about the meaningfulness of fashion, and write about your specific goals and intentions.
:-)
Thank you, thank you so much for the reply :) I will take your advice and try to include that within my essay. I knew that a little something was missing.
Thankx again! :)
Ok I'm back I went ahead and re-wrote the first paragraph of my essay & removed the 2nd and 3rd para. Please give me input. Should I add anything after my first para or just expand on my goals there at FIT and for my future as someone working in Fashion Merchandising Management? Also what I offer to FIT?
thankx :)
Fashion has the power to change a person both inward and outward. I love how just putting on clothes, makeup, accessories and shoes could make a person change their whole attitude. I remember the first time as a pre-teen where I had put together my own outfit without any input from my mother, I felt more confident and beautiful than ever before. I was at that time and still to this day a dedicated reader of fashion's top magazines such as Elle, Vogue, & Harper's Bazaar. I always refer to them as my fairy godmothers because even though they didn't transform a pumpkin into a carriage or magically put me in a beautiful gown and slippers like the fairy godmother did for Cinderella in the movie, they did however become my mentors, and I became their protégé. The magazines used their "magical powers" to help me create my own fashion sense and provided me with knowledge for what was in for the seasons. I'd rip out the pages of the mags with editorials that had models modeling pieces that inspired me. I would spread them all over my bed and pick and choose the key pieces of clothes , accessories and shoes that I thought I could imitate and find in the stores cheaper. I then at that young age found my love.
FIT has the best Fashion Merchandising Management program out there. I know this would be a great place for me to get my degree doing something I loved just doing as a child. I am someone FIT can help provide all the things their mission states that there is to offer to a student of FIT. The Fashion Institute of Technology is a place where I can only get the best industry leading experience, educational experience, growth and self development. I would be very grateful to learn from such outstanding leaders who can give me insight as how to survive and thrive in this desired field.
I want to go on and do great things and I believe that with FIT behind me I can do them all. I want to work as a buyer for Sephora and maybe even own and run my own boutique.
I wish that you would please review me and see that I am a fantastic candidate for placement at your school. I am willing to work hard, persevere challenge my self and abilities. I would be beyond humbly honored to even be considered as a student there at FIT. I hope to hear from you soon.
[quote=ashkat]Ok I'm back I went ahead and re-wrote the first paragraph of my essay & removed the 2nd and 3rd para. Please give me input. Should I add anything else? Does it sound like a good admission essay?
thankx :)
Fashion has the power to change a person both inward and outward. I love how just putting on clothes, makeup, accessories and shoes could make a person change their whole attitude. I remember the first time as a pre-teen where I had put together my own outfit without any input from my mother, I felt more confident and beautiful than ever before. I was at that time and still to this day a dedicated reader of fashion's top magazines such as Elle, Vogue, & Harper's Bazaar. I always refer to them as my fairy godmothers because even though they didn't transform a pumpkin into a carriage or magically put me in a beautiful gown and slippers like the fairy godmother did for Cinderella in the movie, they did however become my mentors, and I became their protégé. The magazines used their "magical powers" to help me create my own fashion sense and provided me with knowledge for what was in for the seasons. I'd rip out the pages of the magazines with editorials that had models modeling pieces that inspired me. I would spread them all over my bed and pick and choose the key pieces of clothes , accessories and shoes that I thought I could imitate and find in the stores cheaper. I then at that young age found my love.
Though I may not have many experiences in the fashion industry, I want to go on to FIT where I know I can be like a blank canvas and FIT can just paint and layer me with all the experiences I need. I don't live in a major city like NYC so my experiences in fashion where I'm from would be completely different from any experiences I can receive from one of the top fashion institutes, which is conveniently located in one of the top fashion capitals of the world.
I'm interested in applying to FIT because of its reputation to have the best Fashion Merchandising Management program out of all the fashion Institutes I've researched. I think this would be a great place for me to get my degree doing something I loved just doing as a child. I am someone FIT can help provide all the things their mission states that there is to offer to a student of FIT. The Fashion Institute of Technology is a place where I can only get the best industry leading experience, educational experience, growth and self development. I would be very grateful to learn from such outstanding leaders who can give me insight as how to survive and thrive in this desired field.
As a student of FIT I can offer my hard work, great diligence, creativity, my enthusiastic attitude. My ability to work well with others, being able to still work at an optimal level under great pressure. I really want to prove myself with my work there at FIT.
My goals at FIT would be to earn my AS degree in Fashion Merchandising Management and then after continue my education at FIT to go on to earn my BS degree in Cosmetic and Fragrance Marketing. My dreams are to go on and become a buyer for the cosmetic franchise Sephora or a buyer for a high end boutique. Either way I really desire to go on and do great things in fashion and I believe that with FIT behind me I can do them all.
I wish that you would please review me and see that I am a fantastic candidate for placement at your school. I am willing to work hard, persevere challenge my self and abilities. I would be beyond humbly honored to even be considered as a student there at FIT. I hope to hear from you soon.
