I like what you say here, but I find it a little superficial. It strikes me as something that anyone could have written. I think that you'd be much better off including some, even if it's only one, personal details to show how it specifically impacted or connected to you. Especially the first sentence, it reads like a book review. Try to think of the assignment as asking you to respond to the novel.
In fact, these thoughts provide the wiring which connect the morals of the book to my own existence.
Connect a moral to your own existence...and tell them about it!
All this essay needs is a little more personal touch!
Please help me with my essay (below) if you can! It's also due tonight!